Chicken thinks about smoking seeing everybody else doing it even slows down his process and the devil (which is actually the red guy hes just called the devil in this episode because its the pirate episode)takes chicken down to hell. Chicken says that he will never do it again but the devil (the red guy) says that its to late and supercow finally comes to save the day and take chicken from hell back to there home.
Cow and Chicken's class takes a field trip to Folsom Prison. There, Chicken changes place with a prisoner, and causes riots by pantsing guards, and demands Pork Butts and Taters for lunch, while the prisoner, Rhode Island Red, pretends to be Chicken. Cow sees through this, and under Super Cow, returns Red, and rescues Chicken.
Chicken, Flem, and Earl decide to sneak into the girl's bathroom during the middle of the night. With Chicken suited up, he goes behind the pink door to discover a cigar machine, a hair washer, and an enclosed toilet, where you can get a complete image makeover. I Am Weasel: ""This Bridge, Not Weasel Bridge""
Cousin, Boneless Chicken has been assigned to babysit Cow. She takes him outside to play catch, in which she throws him, and then catches him. At one moment, she tosses him too high, and he's stuck on the roof. After she goes after him, she accidentally knocks down the laddar, and is now stuck on the roof too.
Cow writes a poetic play about a weenie, who is an outcast because he's not delicious looking as the other weenies. Chicken, Flem, and Earl think it's a crazy idea, but Mr. Fleur, the school's drama teacher decides to produce the play. Cow and Chicken's class get ready for the play, Flem has been cast as the Ugliest Weenie, a role was original given to Chicken. When Chicken sees that Flem get to play off the leading lady, Wee Wee, Chicken decides he wants Flem out of the way, so he can resume the part. But everytime he tries to get rid of Flem, he ends up hurting Mr. Fleur, until he's wheelchair-bound. The night of the play begins, and the cast and crew learn that Flem has been struck with chicken-pocks, so
The Red Guy rolls onto the scene and welcomes the viewers back to the show. He then recaps the events of the first part and announces the start of part 3 of The Ugliest Weenie. An audience member then questions the lack of a part 2 and asks if the preceding I Am Weasel cartoon was part 2. Red Guy states it was part 2 of the show and they're now on part 3 of the show, AKA part 2 of the Ugliest Weenie. The audience member asks why the Red Guy is here anyway and Red Guy asks security to remove him.
Crash Dive: Chicken build himself a wooden submarine, to use in the water. It's a pretty good submarine too, it comes with a parascope and everything. Cow launches it into the water for him, and he floats off, until he is sent down a waterfall. Super Cow goes to Chicken's rescue. Happy Meat: Chicken is sick of the cafeteria's food, which is nothing but a steady diet of ketchup. Since Chicken is against it, he has been banned from eating anything from the cafeteria. After a halusination of seeing his great grandpa and grandma, Cow and Chicken decide to open up their own little meat cafe, which turns out to be quite popular. I Am Weasel: ""Power of Odor""
Chicken is sick of the cafeteria's food, which is nothing but a steady diet of ketchup. Since Chicken is against it, he has been banned from eating anything from the cafeteria. After a halusination of seeing his great grandpa and grandma, Cow and Chicken decide to open up their own little meat cafe, which turns out to be quite popular.
Cow and Chicken go to the arcade, and play the time machine. They find themselves back in a deserted time, where The Red Guy introduces them to the primortial soup. But when Cow accidentally drops her quarter into it, everyone in the present time has quarters for heads. Cow and Chicken must go back into time again to stop her.
Orthodontic Police: The Red Guy is an orthodontic police officer, whose duty is to correct those with bad teeth. He puts them into painful and rediculous-looking retainers that cover their whole bodies. He ultimately puts them on everybody, even those without teeth. When everyone learns that the braces are permanent, Super Cow comes to everyone's rescue.
Cow has a new pair of glasses, and suddenly becomes the smartest person in school. Chicken decides that two can play at that game and gets glasses himself, but since he already has perfect vision, the glasses make everything look blurry. He soon becomes the new smartest kid in class. Because of his new intellect, he is placed in charge of tearing down the new ""dungeon"", which was really a new indoor swimming pool.
Cow learns that she has a herding instinct, and soon starts to fit in with other crowds such as flocks of ducks, schools of fish, and the military. She soon learns that she is supposed to herd with other cows, so she does, but soon dislikes it when all the other cows do nothing but stand and eat grass.
Cow's dream is to be a great ballerina, but her weight makes her a big klutz, and everytime she dances, she destroys the house. She is the target of the eyes of recently de-wrecking ball home wrecker, Irving J. Slacksoff (The Red Guy). He makes Cow his new home wrecking act, and her ballerina skills cause her to destroy an entire building.
While playing a game of doll tag, Chicken is kissed by Winney. Everyone then tells Chicken that he has cooties, and that his beak will shrivel, his tongue will swell to 16 times, his butt will fall off, and his eyeballs will fall off. Chicken then has an anxiety attack, and imagines all the things others said. He then wakes up to find his parents tell him that he has to kiss Winney back, and marry her.
Space Cow: Cow and Chicken write essays on the jobs they'd like to have when they grow up. Cow wants to go into space, while Chicken wants to go into marketing. The winning essay's writer will get to have a day's worth of experience of their career choice. Cow wins, and she gets to help two astronaut fix the stuble microscope, while Chicken is runner-up, however instead of being actually marketing, he's a bagboy. The spaceship runs out of fuel, so Chicken goes into space to save Cow. The Legend of Sailcat: Flem's Dad takes Chicken, Flem, and Earl on a camping trip in the woods. Cow shows up with Chicken's forgotten hairbrush, only to be kicked out by him, Flem and Earl. Flem's Dad then sings a ballad to the kids about a flattened cat, who can act like a frisbee, and cut things down like trees and trucks. Later that night, the kids find their cans of Sugar Frosted Weenies cut open by Sailcat. I Am Weasel: ""Happy Baboon Holidays""
Flem's Dad takes Chicken, Flem, and Earl on a camping trip in the woods. Cow shows up with Chicken's forgotten hairbrush, only to be kicked out by him, Flem and Earl. Flem's Dad then sings a ballad to the kids about a flattened cat, who can act like a frisbee, and cut things down like trees and trucks. Later that night, the kids find their cans of Sugar Frosted Weenies cut open by Sailcat.
Cow goes to Arkansas to meet The Red Guy, who is trying to become the King and Queen of Cheese. The problem is that his method of making cheese is sucking the cheese out of things such as buckets, water towers, weasels, haystacks, silos, grandmas, horses, dogs, lizards, hyenas, ducks, and now Cow. Chicken rescues Cow and the other animals, who then turn the cheese suckers to The Red Guy.
Chicken, Flem, and Earl play a game of kickball. Cow's udders kick the ball into the bushes, where Chicken, Flem and Earl discover a laughing puddle. After Flem and Chicken run back out, they forget the ball, and go back to discover that Earl is in the puddle. Chicken sends Flem after him, and he is stuck too. Chicken then gets Mom and Dad, who jump into the puddle, and Chicken drops Cow in there to save everyone. Chicken is then the only one left, until he discovers the puddle is a doorway to Boneless Chicken's nightclub.
The Red Guy is now Captain Butz Pirate, and wants to give Cow and Chicken pirate lessons. He takes them aboard his pirate ship in the middle of the duck pond, and teaches them how to say ""argh"", carve peglegs, hold worms for ransom, and sink Flem and Earl's boat. But after that incident, Cow, Chicken, and their flag/man Jolly Roger declare mutiny.
The Red Guy hosts a new late night talk show called ""Dead Ghost, Coast to Coast"", and reminds the viewers that tonight's Halloween. Chicken calls in, and is instructed to dress as a human being. So, Cow and Chicken go trick or treating as Mom and Dad, only to find that the neighbors assume that a grown man and woman are trick or treating. With that, Super Cow and Chicken teach The Red Guy a lesson.
Cow's tongue rips out of her mouth and runs away. He then causes havock all over town, by hi-jacking someone of their motor-scooter, rolling around in someone's gravy, and licking the candy store dry. Soon, Tongue finds himself on the lam, and runs back to Cow. Everything is back to normal, until Chicken's wattle decides to run away to.
Cow, Chicken, Mom, and Dad go on a safari in Africa, where they run out of gas. Cow and Chicken then find themselves at the mercy of laughing hyenas, and man-eating giraffes. Super Cow comes to the rescue, only to find that she has actually been defeated by the Grizzly Beaver, who has eaten the giraffe, who has eaten Chicken.
The Red Guy sneaks a crow egg under Chicken's covers while he sleeps. The next morning, Cow and Chicken find the egg, and Chicken comes to the conclusion that he is actually a girl. So, it's egg sitting for Cow and Chicken, until the egg hatches and a baby crow comes out. Now Chicken comes to the conclusion that he isn't even a chicken.
Boneless Chicken teaches Cow and Chicken how to properly fly kites at Lava Park. When Cow's kite tangles with The Red Guy's Kite, he then uses Boneless as his new kite, and has a kite tug-of-war against the Asswipe tribe, over the hot-boiling-molten-lava river. Cow and Chicken come to Boneless's rescue, and the Asswipe tribe wins, while Red Guy takes a dip in the lava river.
Dad is sick of his high-tech reecliner always malfunctioning, so he decides to dump it. Before he does, Cow and Chicken decide to see what it's like to sit in ""The Chair"". They, and they get stuck, and are taken away to museums, and in stolen vans, and finally back at home, where Dad waits for his ""new chair"".
Chicken finds a credit card as his ""free inside prize"". Dad tells him that with the credit card, he can buy all the neat stuff he wants. So Cow and Chicken run down to the weenie emporium, where he learns he can only buy products with the value of 25 cents or less. With that, he buys a stick of weenie bubblegum for 20 cents, then The Red Guy shows up to collect his 5 cent interest.
Cow and Chicken decide to get on Canada's Funniest Home Vidiots; so they glue each other to their heads, and send the tape in. They then meet the host of the show, The Red Guy (who portrays Lance Sackless). After Cow and Chicken win the grandprize, The Red Guy trashes them with insults about how stupid they look, so Super Cow takes out The Red Guy.
The neighboring county of Montzerellaville is in the middle of a Holy Cheese War. One of their own, Slappy McCracken, is part of the exchange student program. He and Cow fall head over heals for each other. Cow then decides to stop the cheese war by proving that cheese isn't used for weapons, it's used for food.
Amateur director Ivan Panced (The Red Guy) hold auditions for the role of ""Pretty Little Girl"" in his new movie with the same name. Cow wins the role by being the only girl who can't puddle dance. Cow's performance is charming, and well as tear-jerking: the horror is yet to come as the cameraman discovers he forgot to put the film in the camera.
Cow and Chicken mess with a Junior Chemistry Set, and created perpetual energy, a beam of energy that keeps on going forever. The Red Guy kidnaps Cow and Chicken to recreate the energy, so he can win a trip to up North without having to sell Military Scout Cookies. I Am Weasel: ""My Friend, the Smart Banana''
Cow and Chicken are sent to the copy room to make copies of the pop quiz. They then get carried away by making copies of their butts, and themselves: causing the copier to blow up. Cow and Chicken run down to the local officer supply store, while The Red Guy brings a copy of Chicken to life. The Chicken copy then causes chaos all over school, while Cow and the real Chicken try to destroy it.
The Red Guy is depressed because no one will play with him. After seeing Cow has Crabs the Warthog, he wants to play with her because he has Crabs's doll house. When he askes to play with Cow, she tells him not if he was the last man on earth. With that he locks the entire world in a trailer, and is the last man standing: but Cow still won't play with him.
Cow has a crush on Crag, the smartest kid in school, but is ignored by him. Her friends try to convince her that her horns are too small, so she tries every way to make them bigger by decorating them with coat hangers, paper masche, and even chocolate chip weenies. Cow later learns that Crag wasn't interest in Cow, because he had a crush on one of her friends.
Mom and Dad go out of town, leaving Cow as the babysitter, because she's the biggest, and not the oldest. Pretty soon, Chicken is at the mercy of his sister's babysitting technique: eating marshmallow soup for supper, doing homework with Crabs the Warthog doll, Piles the Beaver doll, and Manure the Bear doll, taking a bath and being scrubbed with dishsoap, and wearing diapers.
Cow stays outside too late, and pretty soon finds herself lost in the woods, and tries to survive. She pretty soon comes to the conclusion that it's eat, or be eaten, so she puts on war paint, and finds a squirrel in a bush, she quickly eats. It turns out she was in the backyard all the time, and her imagination got the better of her.
Cow doesn't wish to come in, but rather stay out all night to stare at the moon. So she builds a make-shift rocket ship out of cardboard boxes, a trashcan, and traffic cone. It ACTUALLY works, and finds herself on the planet Mud, where she brings space alien (Red Guy) back to earth where he says the solution to all problems is: puppets.
Flem and Earl find themselves lost in the middle of an ocean near the equator. They fear their lives are short, and begin reminescing about their fun lives: home coming, water boys, mentally challenged, eating cheese in Yurp, running with the bulls in Pimplelotta, singing drinking songs in Germany, and having love for Cow. I am Weasel: ""I.R. Do""
Cow bakes her own pie and wants Chicken to try it...but he doesn't want to. Cow then follows Chicken everywhere until she takes drastic measures...hiding all of the food in the house, only leaving the pie. Chicken gives in, and discovers the pie is actually good. Little does he know...it's really poop.
Mom and Dad are disgusted that Cow and Chicken believe the world is round, so they hire Dad's brother, Longhorn Steer (who really is a steer) to tudor Cow and Chicken. Longhorn fails, but Cow and Chicken learn that he doesn't want to teach...we wants to be a normal steer, get married, have kids, hold a job, and stampede.
Chicken tells Cow that she's not artistic, so she in return, sculpts a seal out of a stick of chewing gum, and an entire machine full of bubblegum balls. Cow wishes that her chewing gum seal, whom she names Chachi, was real. Suddenly, a wishing star grants her wish, and Chachi is a real, miserable, ho-hum seal.
Cow and Chicken get a visit from their cousin, Black Sheep (who really is in both terms). While Mom and Dad run away, Cow and Chicken try to make Black Sheep feel at home, but when he compliments Flem and Earl in scientific terms, they assume that Black Sheep is a dangerous criminal. Cow tries to help Black Sheep, who everyone changes their minds about, after he saves a woman's life from a heart attack.
Dad loves shopping for Mom's stuff. He runs off to get a manicure for her, while Cow and Chicken pay for the other items. The censors go off when Cow passes through, so Red Guy, as a mall cop, chases Cow and Chicken all over the store. Cow learns that the censors have been broken for weeks. Red Guy walks through, and is arrest by the REAL mall cops.
Sick of their everyday life of being squirted with milk, Cow's favorite toys: Crabs the Warthog Doll, Piles the Beaver Doll, and Manure the Bear decide to run away to find their original owner. After reading Manure's tag that says ""Made In Hong Kong"", they assume their original owner is a maiden named Hong Kong, and set out on a quest to find her.
Cow and Chicken wait outside the hardware store while Dad shops. Chicken is dying to ride the fighter jet plane ride. When Cow finally lends Chicken a quarter, The Red Guy takes the ride away. Chicken then stows-away on his truck, to ride the plane, but has to plug it up. Once at the gas station, he buys 20 extension cords, but the owner unplugs them. In the end, Chicken discovers that Dad actually collects those kind of rides.
Cow and Chicken are devastated when Mom and Dad suddenly announce that their moving. Cow and Chicken start reminising about their favorite memories from the only home they ever lived in, from their first puppy, to their first Christmas. The Red Guy, Flem and Earl are also devastated when Cow and Chicken are moving. Once the truck is loaded, Cow and Chicken discover that they are only moving to an identical house next door. When asked why, Dad replies ""our old house was infested with ants.""
Everyone makes fun of Cow because she still has her old security blanket. She then tosses it out the school bus window, but is depressed for the rest of the day. Chicken tries the cheer her up by playing the bad guy in a game of Super Cow. Cow confesses that her blanket was also Super Cow's magic cape, and that Super Cow was never coming back. Red Guy then sees the perfect opportunity to torture Flem and Earl. Chicken decides it's ""Wonder Wattle"" to the rescue.
Cow and Chicken visit their cousin, Snail Boy for Sunday Dinner. Later that night, Mom's Sis announces that Snail Boy has been transformed to Cow and Chicken's school. During his first day of school, Chicken becomes the laughing-stock when every finds out that Chicken is the cousin of a snail. Snail Boy then becomes the target of the eyes of the bullying track team.
Cow, Chicken, Flem, and Earl are contestants on the gameshow ""You've Been Panced?"". Where the contestants have three seconds to perform three complicated tasks, or they have to spin the penalty. Chicken, Flem, and Earl all fail, but thanks to Super Cow, they win the grand prize: Red Guy's life savings. They discovered that they've been swindled, and Super Cow takes out Red Guy.
Red Guy pops by Cow and Chicken's house selling ""invisible sauce"". Cow unwittingly buys it, and claims she's invisible, so she runs around town performing feats of ""invisibiltiness"". Red Guy sees this, and has Cow steal ""withdrawl slips"" from the bank with her ""invisibleness"". Cow steal fill-out forms instead of cash. Cow then tries to help lousy golfers, but she realizes she never was really invisible at all.
Cow wakes up in the middle of the night and finds a monster in the closet. Mr. Monster is actually quite friendly, and the next day, Cow treats him to a grand day out. They enjoy jumping ropes, eating ice cream, and watching TV. But when Mom and Dad discover this, they freak out, and have Cow banish Mr. Monster in the closet forever.
Chicken trades Cow to a farmer for five Canadian jumping beans. Mom grounds Chicken, and has him throw the beans out. As you guessed, a beanstalk grew, Chicken, Frem, and Earl climbed it, and was captured by Red Guy who is the giant. Super Cow senses this, and flies to the rescue. Flem in the end, ends up laying a golden egg (no, seriously, he LAYS a golden egg).
Chicken hosts his own magic show, and his assitant is Cow. He amazes Flem and Earl, by makings a porkbutt float, Flem's under appear outside his pants, switching Earl's braces to Flem, bird fly from under Earl's hat, and Cow's udder dsiappear. But when he is unable to make her udder reappear, he has no choice but to place reward posters. Meanwhile, Red Guy is enjoying his newfound milk producing body part. I am Weasel: ""I Am Whale Captain""
Cow loves horses. While reading a book about a famous horse, Blackie, she discovers the famous horse in her front yard. Cow and Chicken then take the horse as their new friend. Cow and Chicken make sure that Blackie gets his way. Soon Mom and Dad tire living like animals and wearing horse shoes, and tell Cow and Chicken that Blackie has to go.
Red Guys shows up at Cow and Chicken's house, posing as Hives the Butler. For the rest of the day, he tries to make Cow and Chicken's life easier, by answers questions for them, peeing for them, feeding them, blinking for them, and giving them story time. When Red Guy discovers that their not wealthy, he decides to take his scam to Flem and Earl.
Red Guy shows up at Cow and Chicken's house, claiming to be a beauty pagent scout. He then dolls up Cow, and enters her into the next beauty pagent. While Cow literally makes a mochrie up on stage, she wins anyway with her inner beauty. Cow then discovers that it was all a scam so Red Guy could wear the tiarara, and hold the roses, at least just once.
Now Red Guy's Dr. Hiney, and says that Chicken is a deformed duck. With that, he takes Chicken to the hospital for a wattle-ex-tamy. After hours pass, Red Guy's surgery literally turns Chicken into a duck. Mom and Dad sue Red Guy, and lose. Now the Cow and Chicken show may be renamed "Cow and Duck".
The Great Pantzini: Mom and Dad force Cow and Chicken to join Red Guy's circus. Red Guy tries everything to make Cow and Chicken to fit into the circus. First he tries them out as Cow being a trapeze artist, and Chicken as a fire eater. But when his clowns quit, he makes Cow and Chicken his new clowns.