Chicken, Flem, and Earl decide to sneak into the girl's bathroom during the middle of the night. With Chicken suited up, he goes behind the pink door to discover a cigar machine, a hair washer, and an enclosed toilet, where you can get a complete image makeover. I Am Weasel: ""This Bridge, Not Weasel Bridge""
Cow and Chicken's class takes a field trip to Folsom Prison. There, Chicken changes place with a prisoner, and causes riots by pantsing guards, and demands Pork Butts and Taters for lunch, while the prisoner, Rhode Island Red, pretends to be Chicken. Cow sees through this, and under Super Cow, returns Red, and rescues Chicken.
Cow wants to earn money to buy the new Crabs the Warthog Doll. So she gets a part-time job at the milk farm, where her milk is superb. Chicken decides to get a part-time job too, and is refered to the Chicken farm as a ""temporary employee"". I Am Weasel: ""I.R. On Sun""
Cow wishes to be a famous supermodel, and gets her 15 minutes of fame, when The Red Guy discovers her. She soon appears in magazines and buildboards, but soon becomes yesterday's news.
Cow has a new pair of glasses, and suddenly becomes the smartest person in school. Chicken decides that two can play at that game and gets glasses himself, but since he already has perfect vision, the glasses make everything look blurry. He soon becomes the new smartest kid in class. Because of his new intellect, he is placed in charge of tearing down the new ""dungeon"", which was really a new indoor swimming pool.
Orthodontic Police: The Red Guy is an orthodontic police officer, whose duty is to correct those with bad teeth. He puts them into painful and rediculous-looking retainers that cover their whole bodies. He ultimately puts them on everybody, even those without teeth. When everyone learns that the braces are permanent, Super Cow comes to everyone's rescue.
Cow's dream is to be a great ballerina, but her weight makes her a big klutz, and everytime she dances, she destroys the house. She is the target of the eyes of recently de-wrecking ball home wrecker, Irving J. Slacksoff (The Red Guy). He makes Cow his new home wrecking act, and her ballerina skills cause her to destroy an entire building.
Cow learns that she has a herding instinct, and soon starts to fit in with other crowds such as flocks of ducks, schools of fish, and the military. She soon learns that she is supposed to herd with other cows, so she does, but soon dislikes it when all the other cows do nothing but stand and eat grass.
Chicken, Flem, and Earl play a game of kickball. Cow's udders kick the ball into the bushes, where Chicken, Flem and Earl discover a laughing puddle. After Flem and Chicken run back out, they forget the ball, and go back to discover that Earl is in the puddle. Chicken sends Flem after him, and he is stuck too. Chicken then gets Mom and Dad, who jump into the puddle, and Chicken drops Cow in there to save everyone. Chicken is then the only one left, until he discovers the puddle is a doorway to Boneless Chicken's nightclub.
Mom and Dad decide to let Cow have a pet. She choose an anaconda, after it eats Chicken, and she hears his voice from inside the snake, and assumes the snake can sound just like Chicken. Cow names the anaconda, Fluffy, and Fluffy soon grows attached to Chicken, as its full-coarse dinner.
The Red Guy hosts a new late night talk show called ""Dead Ghost, Coast to Coast"", and reminds the viewers that tonight's Halloween. Chicken calls in, and is instructed to dress as a human being. So, Cow and Chicken go trick or treating as Mom and Dad, only to find that the neighbors assume that a grown man and woman are trick or treating. With that, Super Cow and Chicken teach The Red Guy a lesson.
The Red Guy is now Captain Butz Pirate, and wants to give Cow and Chicken pirate lessons. He takes them aboard his pirate ship in the middle of the duck pond, and teaches them how to say ""argh"", carve peglegs, hold worms for ransom, and sink Flem and Earl's boat. But after that incident, Cow, Chicken, and their flag/man Jolly Roger declare mutiny.
Chicken is tired of always having to do chores, so he chews Mom and Dad out, and runs away to be a bachelor with Cousin Boneless Chicken. One at Boneless's Chicken attracts the attention on Boneless's blind-date, Linda. Linda falls head over heals for Chicken, which makes Boneless disgusted.
Cow's tongue rips out of her mouth and runs away. He then causes havock all over town, by hi-jacking someone of their motor-scooter, rolling around in someone's gravy, and licking the candy store dry. Soon, Tongue finds himself on the lam, and runs back to Cow. Everything is back to normal, until Chicken's wattle decides to run away to.
Cow and Chicken's class go on a field trip to the Cometorium, where Chicken is bored stiff. After getting hit by one of Dad's golf balls (he was golfing right next door), Chicken hangs it in front of the telescope; soon, the whole town is in panic of the arrival of ""Dad's Ball Comet"".
Cow, Chicken, Flem, and Earl try out for the school's sumo wrestling team. For being big and fat, Cow is the new team member. Soon, everyone fears her, and she feels degected, but it benefits Chicken, because now no one will beat him up.
The school's newspaper editor has been fired. Teacher then brings in The Red Guy, as reporter Geraldo Rearviewa to advise. He decides to produce a new school-news show, and makes Chicken the anchorman, and Cow the editor. But soon, Red Guy's false stories makes Chicken loses friends.
Cow, Chicken, Mom, and Dad go on a safari in Africa, where they run out of gas. Cow and Chicken then find themselves at the mercy of laughing hyenas, and man-eating giraffes. Super Cow comes to the rescue, only to find that she has actually been defeated by the Grizzly Beaver, who has eaten the giraffe, who has eaten Chicken.
Boneless Chicken teaches Cow and Chicken how to properly fly kites at Lava Park. When Cow's kite tangles with The Red Guy's Kite, he then uses Boneless as his new kite, and has a kite tug-of-war against the Asswipe tribe, over the hot-boiling-molten-lava river. Cow and Chicken come to Boneless's rescue, and the Asswipe tribe wins, while Red Guy takes a dip in the lava river.
The Red Guy sneaks a crow egg under Chicken's covers while he sleeps. The next morning, Cow and Chicken find the egg, and Chicken comes to the conclusion that he is actually a girl. So, it's egg sitting for Cow and Chicken, until the egg hatches and a baby crow comes out. Now Chicken comes to the conclusion that he isn't even a chicken.
Dad is sick of his high-tech reecliner always malfunctioning, so he decides to dump it. Before he does, Cow and Chicken decide to see what it's like to sit in ""The Chair"". They, and they get stuck, and are taken away to museums, and in stolen vans, and finally back at home, where Dad waits for his ""new chair"".
Chicken finds a credit card as his ""free inside prize"". Dad tells him that with the credit card, he can buy all the neat stuff he wants. So Cow and Chicken run down to the weenie emporium, where he learns he can only buy products with the value of 25 cents or less. With that, he buys a stick of weenie bubblegum for 20 cents, then The Red Guy shows up to collect his 5 cent interest.
Chicken turns 11, and is allowed to operate the food catapault. So he feeds Cow with pork butts, but when his sleeve gets caught in the catapault, he ends up getting swallowed by Cow. With that, Mom and Dad take her to The Red Guy, who tries to get Chicken out of Cow's cavernous abdimen.
After Chicken's beak is bruised by Dick, his school bully, Mom and Dad send him to karate lessons. Chicken takes up butt-fu from The Red Guy, but when Chicken still is unable to beat up Dick, Chicken decides to force a refund (with help from an invisible Super Cow).
Chicken holds a yard sale, but when one of the price tags accidentally falls off the table and onto the yard, The Red Guy literally buys the yard. Mom and Dad expect Chicken to get the yard back, in which he does by having Cow play a game of one-shot battleship with The Red Guy.
Cow and Chicken decide to get on Canada's Funniest Home Vidiots; so they glue each other to their heads, and send the tape in. They then meet the host of the show, The Red Guy (who portrays Lance Sackless). After Cow and Chicken win the grandprize, The Red Guy trashes them with insults about how stupid they look, so Super Cow takes out The Red Guy.
Mom and Dad are upset that Cow and Chicken aren't afraid of the dark, so they call in a specialist on fear: The Red Guy (who portrays Dr. Lackslacks). He tries everyway he can to make Cow and Chicken afraid, only succeeding in making himself afraid of everything.
Teacher is disappointed when the school's plastic surgery team has no championships, so she calls in The Red Guy, to be the new plastic surgery coach. Chicken and Cow immediately join the team, and are taken to the finals, where they must compete against real doctors, who are still in grade school.
The neighboring county of Montzerellaville is in the middle of a Holy Cheese War. One of their own, Slappy McCracken, is part of the exchange student program. He and Cow fall head over heals for each other. Cow then decides to stop the cheese war by proving that cheese isn't used for weapons, it's used for food.
Cow and Chicken mess with a Junior Chemistry Set, and created perpetual energy, a beam of energy that keeps on going forever. The Red Guy kidnaps Cow and Chicken to recreate the energy, so he can win a trip to up North without having to sell Military Scout Cookies. I Am Weasel: ""My Friend, the Smart Banana''
Amateur director Ivan Panced (The Red Guy) hold auditions for the role of ""Pretty Little Girl"" in his new movie with the same name. Cow wins the role by being the only girl who can't puddle dance. Cow's performance is charming, and well as tear-jerking: the horror is yet to come as the cameraman discovers he forgot to put the film in the camera.
Cow and Chicken are sent to the copy room to make copies of the pop quiz. They then get carried away by making copies of their butts, and themselves: causing the copier to blow up. Cow and Chicken run down to the local officer supply store, while The Red Guy brings a copy of Chicken to life. The Chicken copy then causes chaos all over school, while Cow and the real Chicken try to destroy it.
Chicken rushes through breakfast, and accidentally eats a box full of coffee flakes. He then goes crazy and has trouble getting to sleep. On his third night of no sleep, Chicken then runs up the Empire State Building. Super Cow shoots him with warm milk, and Chicken finally falls asleep.
Chicken tells Cow that she's not artistic, so she in return, sculpts a seal out of a stick of chewing gum, and an entire machine full of bubblegum balls. Cow wishes that her chewing gum seal, whom she names Chachi, was real. Suddenly, a wishing star grants her wish, and Chachi is a real, miserable, ho-hum seal.
Cow and Chicken get a visit from their cousin, Black Sheep (who really is in both terms). While Mom and Dad run away, Cow and Chicken try to make Black Sheep feel at home, but when he compliments Flem and Earl in scientific terms, they assume that Black Sheep is a dangerous criminal. Cow tries to help Black Sheep, who everyone changes their minds about, after he saves a woman's life from a heart attack.
Dad loves shopping for Mom's stuff. He runs off to get a manicure for her, while Cow and Chicken pay for the other items. The censors go off when Cow passes through, so Red Guy, as a mall cop, chases Cow and Chicken all over the store. Cow learns that the censors have been broken for weeks. Red Guy walks through, and is arrest by the REAL mall cops.
It's ""Bring Your Kids to Work Day"", so Dad does just that. Dad's job is guarding the government's money. When he has to appear at a sudden confernce, he leaves Cow and Chicken in his office. Red Guy, who is now a Canadian Mounty Police, finds them, and begins to stalk them, until they surrender.
It's almost arbor day, and Mom and Dad are feeding their pet piggy pennies so they can crack him open on arbor day. Meanwhile, Cow and Chicken are craving ice cream, and try to chase down the ice cream man (Red Guy).
Sick of their everyday life of being squirted with milk, Cow's favorite toys: Crabs the Warthog Doll, Piles the Beaver Doll, and Manure the Bear decide to run away to find their original owner. After reading Manure's tag that says ""Made In Hong Kong"", they assume their original owner is a maiden named Hong Kong, and set out on a quest to find her.
Cow and Chicken wait outside the hardware store while Dad shops. Chicken is dying to ride the fighter jet plane ride. When Cow finally lends Chicken a quarter, The Red Guy takes the ride away. Chicken then stows-away on his truck, to ride the plane, but has to plug it up. Once at the gas station, he buys 20 extension cords, but the owner unplugs them. In the end, Chicken discovers that Dad actually collects those kind of rides.
Dad isn't friendly terms with the new neighbors, who happen to be clowns. Cow falls in love with the clown son, who in return falls in love with Cow. They play hooky to spend the day together. Dad finds out, and Cow in grounded, while he kicks the clown son out, and chews clown dad out.
Everyone makes fun of Cow because she still has her old security blanket. She then tosses it out the school bus window, but is depressed for the rest of the day. Chicken tries the cheer her up by playing the bad guy in a game of Super Cow. Cow confesses that her blanket was also Super Cow's magic cape, and that Super Cow was never coming back. Red Guy then sees the perfect opportunity to torture Flem and Earl. Chicken decides it's ""Wonder Wattle"" to the rescue.
Cow and Chicken are devastated when Mom and Dad suddenly announce that their moving. Cow and Chicken start reminising about their favorite memories from the only home they ever lived in, from their first puppy, to their first Christmas. The Red Guy, Flem and Earl are also devastated when Cow and Chicken are moving. Once the truck is loaded, Cow and Chicken discover that they are only moving to an identical house next door. When asked why, Dad replies ""our old house was infested with ants.""
Cow and Chicken visit their cousin, Snail Boy for Sunday Dinner. Later that night, Mom's Sis announces that Snail Boy has been transformed to Cow and Chicken's school. During his first day of school, Chicken becomes the laughing-stock when every finds out that Chicken is the cousin of a snail. Snail Boy then becomes the target of the eyes of the bullying track team.
Cow, Chicken, Flem, and Earl are contestants on the gameshow ""You've Been Panced?"". Where the contestants have three seconds to perform three complicated tasks, or they have to spin the penalty. Chicken, Flem, and Earl all fail, but thanks to Super Cow, they win the grand prize: Red Guy's life savings. They discovered that they've been swindled, and Super Cow takes out Red Guy.
Red Guy pops by Cow and Chicken's house selling ""invisible sauce"". Cow unwittingly buys it, and claims she's invisible, so she runs around town performing feats of ""invisibiltiness"". Red Guy sees this, and has Cow steal ""withdrawl slips"" from the bank with her ""invisibleness"". Cow steal fill-out forms instead of cash. Cow then tries to help lousy golfers, but she realizes she never was really invisible at all.
Cow wakes up in the middle of the night and finds a monster in the closet. Mr. Monster is actually quite friendly, and the next day, Cow treats him to a grand day out. They enjoy jumping ropes, eating ice cream, and watching TV. But when Mom and Dad discover this, they freak out, and have Cow banish Mr. Monster in the closet forever.
Chicken hosts his own magic show, and his assitant is Cow. He amazes Flem and Earl, by makings a porkbutt float, Flem's under appear outside his pants, switching Earl's braces to Flem, bird fly from under Earl's hat, and Cow's udder dsiappear. But when he is unable to make her udder reappear, he has no choice but to place reward posters. Meanwhile, Red Guy is enjoying his newfound milk producing body part. I am Weasel: ""I Am Whale Captain""
Chicken trades Cow to a farmer for five Canadian jumping beans. Mom grounds Chicken, and has him throw the beans out. As you guessed, a beanstalk grew, Chicken, Frem, and Earl climbed it, and was captured by Red Guy who is the giant. Super Cow senses this, and flies to the rescue. Flem in the end, ends up laying a golden egg (no, seriously, he LAYS a golden egg).
Cow is very lonely, that is until she befriends an orange she finds in her front yard.
Dad tells the story of how he and Mom met to Cow and Chicken.
Cow loves horses. While reading a book about a famous horse, Blackie, she discovers the famous horse in her front yard. Cow and Chicken then take the horse as their new friend. Cow and Chicken make sure that Blackie gets his way. Soon Mom and Dad tire living like animals and wearing horse shoes, and tell Cow and Chicken that Blackie has to go.
Red Guys shows up at Cow and Chicken's house, posing as Hives the Butler. For the rest of the day, he tries to make Cow and Chicken's life easier, by answers questions for them, peeing for them, feeding them, blinking for them, and giving them story time. When Red Guy discovers that their not wealthy, he decides to take his scam to Flem and Earl.
Red Guy shows up at Cow and Chicken's house, claiming to be a beauty pagent scout. He then dolls up Cow, and enters her into the next beauty pagent. While Cow literally makes a mochrie up on stage, she wins anyway with her inner beauty. Cow then discovers that it was all a scam so Red Guy could wear the tiarara, and hold the roses, at least just once.
Red Guy shows up at Cow and Chicken's house again, this time claiming to be a piano teacher. So now Cow and Chicken are his students, and tries to make them child-prodigy piano players, so he can be rich. Cow and Chicken's concert fails.
The Great Pantzini: Mom and Dad force Cow and Chicken to join Red Guy's circus. Red Guy tries everything to make Cow and Chicken to fit into the circus. First he tries them out as Cow being a trapeze artist, and Chicken as a fire eater. But when his clowns quit, he makes Cow and Chicken his new clowns.
Now Red Guy's Dr. Hiney, and says that Chicken is a deformed duck. With that, he takes Chicken to the hospital for a wattle-ex-tamy. After hours pass, Red Guy's surgery literally turns Chicken into a duck. Mom and Dad sue Red Guy, and lose. Now the Cow and Chicken show may be renamed "Cow and Duck".
When Cow and Chicken get depressed, their parents suggest them to go to a mysterious swamp, and find a blind blues singer to fight their depression.
The Cow and Chicken`s teacher sings a ballad about Red Guy and Cow and Chicken.
