Vids reviewed: General Chaos The Big Lebowski Jerry Springer Uncensored Best of Hollywood Sex uncut British Sex Uncut White label Morning of the earth Skinned Physical graffiti Kiss or kill
Vids reviewed: Wishmaster Demagogue Gang related The full totty Shaolin art of war Shaolin temple Spooky encounters Mimic
Vids reviewed: Mondo elvis The sadist The final chapter: blood sport 4 Dark city The star packer Kisss Animation on 4 vol.2 Football shorts
Nige explains what different kinds of dancing you could do instead of belly dancing, bell end dancing, embarrassing dads at weddings dancing (“oh hello there chicky, I really keep up with the charts I love your Human leagues). But Nige tells us that the worst is smooching dancing (“Ooh ya dirty cow you’re not even wearin' a BRA!”) Plus this show contains Nige’s god speech in the town centre. Vids reviewed: Anthea turner - tone lift condition Roger black - fighting fit Look good and feel great- rosemary connely Look good and feel great-derrick evans Belly dancing The day trippers Touch Sometimes they come back*for more Naked killer The bedroom Dopemania
Vids reviewed: Tetsuo- the ironman Tetsuo - body hammer Ghost in the shell Battle angel alita Goku midnight eye Lake Nasser safari Eve's bayou Chained heat Dragon's forever Little smart arses Savior
Vids reviewed: Area 51 Snowraiders Freeradicals Leather jacket love story Naked highway Some prefer cake I was a doctor who monster Palookaville
Vids reviewed: Love and death on Long Island The big swap From Russia with blood Betty page - teaserama Foxy brown Friday foster Bucktown Scream blacula scream Black mama white mama Coffy Siegebusters Fatliners
Jayrod the inflatable green alien that Nige loves humiliating (like stomping on him shouting, “what’s my name?”) sods off on holiday. Nige does his best Harvey Kietel impression, and snaps while telling everyone that the shop is closing and tells them to get out (“Don’t look at me like that, you want your spankin’?”) Vids reviewed: Dirty tricks and cunning stunts Down where the buffalo go Air and crash Snowboarding masterclass 3 Jackie chan my story Cops - too hot for TV! 2 Rising stars and sexy starlets Forbidden City cop
Vids reviewed: The replacement killers Different for girls Superladies showdown Celebrating orgasm Self loving The art of extended orgasm for men and women Supervirility Wildstyle
Vids reviewed: Burn Hollywood burn Atlantis Kissed Year of the horse The scores girls go cool Britannia Jackie brown Groupies
Stef admits he would have rather seen “Leonardo Dicaprio – I used to be famous but now I do sexual favours for food”. Nige bursts into a sandwich shop pulls out to shot guns and declares in a cockney accent “I want my veggie burger now, and some sun dried tomatoes and taramasalata please…” Vids reviewed: Leonardo Dicaprio - in his own words Heart of dragon Kiss daddy goodnight The junky's Christmas Lover of the last emperor Lock stock and two smoking barrels Café flesh 2
Stef farts the Star Wars theme while on the toilet. The guys have an arse about smashing cars into each other. They also do their own take on Charley says. Vids reviewed: Charley says Charley live! Lava - lava! Guano! Killer instinct The winner Jerry springer - I refuse to wear clothes
Vids reviewed: * Zero effect * Starsky and hutch * The Simpsons too hot for TV * The swinging cheerleaders * Fritz the cat * Heavy traffic “I’ve got a bright idea for that BASTARD” Says Nige as they spot a car that’s been parked outside for 10 minutes so that means it must be stolen and abandoned. So they paint it to look like the Starsky and Hutch car. Of course it wasn’t stolen, so Nige and Stef end up in court and then prison, Stef gets the worst end of it though.
Vids reviewed: * Atolladero * Out on a limb * Mr nice guy * Fountain of youth * Mature couples guide to love and intimacy * Radical extremes in the sky * Radical extremes on water * Radical extremes on snow Nige animates turds on cardboard cut out of Noel Gallaghers face and also goes down a water shoot on the inflatable orange couch fully clothed. Also, winking the anus is discovered. Nige signs his soul away to Satan who in return teaches him the lost chord.
Vids reviewed: * Baby mother * Hardboiled 2 - the last blood * Extreme catfighting * Evil dead 2 * Gamera * Streetfighter II V Jayrod returns in giant form. And Nige chases Stef around brandishing a fuckin’ chain saw. There's also some funny out-takes at the end.
Vids reviewed: * Mental motorsport mayhem * Razorblade smile * Progeny * Project A * East Side story * 24:7 The guys have some granny racing and Eileen daily from Razorblade smile turns up, and for a lack of a better term, makes Nige and Stef her bitches (“I’ve been a naughty girl and I deserve spankin’ hmm” – Nige) . Also, watch out for Aleks from Bits while Nige is reviewing East Side Story.
Vids reviewed: * Killer tongue * 60 million dollar man * South park series 2 * Fist of the North Star * Noose * Nude aquacise * Boot camp workout * Art of naked yoga Nige grows a “killer cock”. Tells customers to get down and give him twenty “No 20 quid I mean ya bastards!”
Vids reviewed: * Man's guide to stronger erections * Have you lived before? * The real blonde * Eraserhead * Wheels on meals * Character * Buffalo 66
Vids reviewed: * How to strip for your lover * I want you * Pitbull's punch-ups * In the grip of evil * Gummo * The exorcist Note: The first half of this show is in black and white. Nige lays down some rat poison for cats. And Stef tells us that “how to strip for your lover” should have been called “crap striping”.
Vids reviewed: * Making love the French way * El topo * The holy mountain * Coonskin * Absolute fighting * Stuff Stephanie in the incinerator * Fear and loathing in Las Vegas The guys have coated the floor with sand, for a sunnier climate to get away from the British weather, and Nige tells us that he wouldn’t want Chris Tarrant standing over him with a “full on bloater”. Aleks pops up again as a French bird that tries it on with Stef.
Vids reviewed: * Bad taste * Twin town * Hated * Pantyhose hero * Bubblegum crisis 1 * Bubblegum crisis 2 * Stella does tricks
Vids reviewed: * Deranged * James Ellroy - demon dog of American fiction * Hoodlum * Gunsmith cats * Lee-thal weapon * The art of nude massage Nige gets trapped in the TV while reviewing Gunsmith cats, digs up a dead body, and saws it up - squirting the blood all over Steffy boy.
Vids reviewed: * Cube * Fit to bust * Driller killer * My name is Joe * Finders keepers * Nowhere * Project A II Nige and Stef have a wee game of football, Nige drills Nige’s teeth (No that’s not a typo) And Nige complains that the cotton male y-front also has its problems, never mind the Bra.
Vids reviewed: * Project S * Dream life of angels * Ringmaster * Perdita Durango * Vigilante * How to seduce your lover forever A man called A. Ness demands that the guys hand over all obscene videos. In the end the guy resorts at trying to kill Nige and Stef by planting bombs around the shop. Eventually the shop is blown up… are Nige and Stef dead?
Vids reviewed: * Kids * Lorna * Eve and the handyman * The immoral Mr Teas * Bedrooms and hallways * Neil Down sex therapist * Perfect blue * Doberman With this being the first of a new series we see a quick recap of the old shop from series 1+2 exploding. Nige ends up in heaven where a four-way arse god tells him that he likes Vids and they must keep watching videos. The end sketch is Stef and Nige’s attempt at washing the dishes…they put them in the washing machine.
Vids Reviewed: * Festen * Mavericks * The secret life of Jeffery Dahmer * Naked killer * Sex and Zen 3 * Tenabrae Stef gives Nige his monthly bath, scrubbing him down with a mop. “Go on get stuck in hahahaha,” says Nige.
Vids reviewed: * Existenz * The storyteller * The faculty * Underground Stef and Nige make tea. Consisting of, a bag of flour, some Doritos, a pot of tea. Follow Le chef Nige’s cooking instructions, “Gas mark 11, leave it three quarters of an hour go off have a wank or something, come back, perfect”. Although it does look like something was edited out right before Nige says “wank”…hmmm.
Vids reviewed: * The Idiots * Schitzopolis * Boxing clever * The Mike Tyson story * The washing machine * Dead of night * Children shouldn’t play with dead things * Blast from the past Stef and Nige must clean their rancid toilet. Stef breaks Nige’s arm and they get on with it. I’m damn sure that real shit was used for this as I think you can here the camera operator gagging and coughing.
Vids reviewed: * Sword of vengence * Heart * Gary Larsons tales from the far side * A woman called Abe Sada * Lock stock and two barrels of lager * UFO: Close encounters of the real kind * UFO Encounter * UFO Top secret Nige is abducted by a bunch of crap aliens and probed. Nige and Stef also try their hand and keeping fit, touching the toes and anal winking.
Vids reviewed: * Belly * Path of the dragon * Happiness * The girl slaves of Morgana Le Fey * Plunkett and Maclean * The Corrupter Nige is given a tattoo by Stef, Nige wants VIDS in big bold letters on his back but Stef ends up tattooing DIVS on him instead.
Vids reviewed: * Murder in a blue world * A star is porn * Apt pupil * Vinnie Jones’ great balls of fire * Johnny Vaughan’s all the rage * Frankie Dettori rides again * It’s not big and it’s not clever * Best laid plans Stef declares that the flat is in a state, so him and Nige clean it up as only they can, by making it worse than it already was. “Tidy house, tidy arse” As Nige said.
Vids reviewed: * The Matrix * Manumission the movie * Another day in paradise * The guide to G spots and multiple orgasms * The six million dollar man * The bionic woman * Human traffic * Jeremy Clarksons Head to head Nige tells us that the car is the modern Black Death. And the guys pay tribute to police squad by doing the freeze frame sketch over the end credits.
Vids reviewed: * Brown’s requiem * Sitcom * Tattoo * Love rites * Dawn of the dead * Virus Nige’s demented half brother Lingus comes to visit, and basically just annoys Nige for the whole of his stay, like brining up past child nicknames, Block-pants. Eventually Lingus is killed by Nige with a hammer who then returns as a zombie. They send him home in a taxi and he starts to talk about Wendy Craig’s “Rat-like” face.
Vids reviewed: * In dreams * Karate rule breakers * Darkman * Watcher in the attic * Tremors * Avalanche It’s almost Christmas time (“The season of dead turkeys and de-forested fir trees”) so the guys go out to the woods and chop down a tree, then decorate it with videotape and anything else they can find.
Vids reviewed: * Last night * 1999 * Snow oddessy * North Park * Darkness falls * Truck Turner * The snake strikes back * Eagle Vs Silver fox * It’s a wonderful life Stef doesn’t like Nige anymore, so Nige leaves and is going to chuck himself of a bridge but is visited by a four way arse angel who shows him what it would be like if he’d never born; Stef is a Kevin Cosnter fan and the flat is deserted. Nige returns and he and Stef have a unisex disco party.
Vids reviewed: You're dead; Hang the DJ; Yotoden 2; Fanny hill; A Clockwork orange; Re-animator. Nige and Stef attempt to break into a bank but break into the wrong one if you know what I mean (“mmm tastes like chicken”) They also get dressed up clockwork orange droogs style.
Vids reviewed: Meet the Feebles; Faust; Conspirators of Pleasure; Viz - Fat Slags and Sid the Sexist; Rei Rei/The Gigolo; Adventure Duo; Return of the Overfiend; Still overjoyed at Tampy's return, Stef doesn't pay attention when walking and she is struck by a car whereupon she receives emergency surgery. The resulting meal sends Stef straight to hospital.
Vids reviewed: ... Himalaya; Southern Comfort; Distressed by incessant wailing, Nige and Stef find a baby on their doorstep. Christening him Anus, he swiftly develops into a constantly masturbating - and eventually copulating - teenager. Disillusioned with the video market, he eventually departs as a middle-aged dog rental specialist.
Vids reviewed: Play it to the Bone; A Room for Romeo Brass; Armour of God; Eskimo Nell; King Kong; One Deadly Summer; After a saturday binge of laundry, nostril-flakes and fried breakfasts, Nige is officially declared a Fat Bastard and Stef forces him on to a diet and exercise regime.
Vids reviewed: Boiler Room; La Haine; Ultimate Scooters; Coaster Crazy; Miranda; Nosferatu; Hana Bi; Thrilled with the new car, Nige reveals he's never got a driver's license so he starts taking lessons and planning for a driving holiday.
Vids reviewed: The Cell; Chopper; The Serial Killers Vol 1-3; Cherry Falls; Man Bites Dog; On receiving a letter from his mother, Nige drags Stef along to go and see her. However it soon transpires that Nigel's mother is a serial killer and has an interesting evening in store for Stretchy Boy...
Vids reviewed: Three Kings; The Limey; The Twilight Zone; Death Row Uncut; ... Nige and Stef realise they'll need to clean up their act if they're ever to gain mainstream acceptance.
Vids reviewed: Dancer in the Dark; The Bike Experience; Hardcore Tarmac Terrorists; What's Up, Tigerlily? Better Oral Sex Techniques; Advanced Sex Techniques; Road Trip; Siberia; Drinking a curious liquid leaves Nige with a sore throat so that half-brother Lingus has to conduct his reviews for him. Following a trip to the doctors and sick of his presense, a guilty Lingus is driven away and abandoned in the countryside.
Vids reviewed: Chuck and Buck; Legend of a Fighter; ... Hollow Man; Digital Devil/The Cockpit; After repeatedly injuring himself, Nige undergoes a religious epiphany.
Vids reviewed: Purely Belter; Ring; Sid and Nancy; Sex and the Emperor; ... Nige gets in touch with his Welsh heritage by way of a magic mushroom bender. Later they employ a new member of staff whom they exploit and abuse ruthlessly.
Vids reviewed: O Brother, Where Art Thou?; Julien Donkey-boy; Romeo Must Die; Venus in Furs; Schezerade; Snatch; Ratcatcher; Satan the wanksock puppet makes a welcome return. Nige once again makes an ill-advised attempt to pursue a mainstream career.
