M. Night Shyamalan drives the final nail in the coffin of his reputation for surprise endings by telling a tale with all the twists and turns of a pretzel... not the twisty kind, but the straight kind that doesn't have any twists. The trees and plants of the Northeast US, no doubt still angry over Al Gore's defeat in 2000, have begun intermittently emitting a gas that causes humans to want to kill themselves. (Hey, can you blame them? I mean, even humans have been known to do that from time to time, right?) Anyway, it's up to She (of She and Him) and Marky Mark (minus Hector the booty inspector) to protect a child-sized dress mannequin and get it to the place where the event is not happening. Can these two adults, who are not only in touch with their inner children but have them writing all their dialog, stay a step ahead of flatulent shrubbery and skydiving construction workers all the while pulling their relationship through the toughest crisis it has ever faced? Or, more importantly, can you make it through the movie without trying to drown yourself in your soda or gouge out your eyes with Twizzlers? Fear not. QuipTracks is here to help you through this difficult, uh, phenomenon? Occurrence? Seems like there is some other word I'm looking for here. Oh well.