As long as you continue to place expectations on your spouse you have a debt/debtor relationship that will crowd out love and intimacy. In order to experience marriage as God designed it you must transform your expectations back to desires. But then what? You’re still left with all these unfulfilled hopes, dreams, and needs. We must learn to look to God as the ultimate satisfier of our desires, not our spouse. We must develop the habit of casting our cares on Him.