We Like Them Girls

We like them girls with functioning vaginas Functioning vaginas Functioning vagina-ginas We like them girls with at least two limbs At least two fuckin' limbs And one is a leg - what! We like them girls who can write their name Write it on a piece of paper They can write their name, right We like them girls with functioning vaginas Functioning vaginas Functioning vagina-ginas I don't give a damn if a dame is ugly as sin With a bunch of scruff on her chin And one functioning limb She could have a hundred babies From maybe 80 babies' daddies And crazy acne I don't need a babe to make me happy She could be a Russian with a husband Or even my second cousin As long as she doesn't bust on my lovin' End of discussion She could be dyslexic With pits that are wretched I'll even have sex if she's pregnant As long as her vagina ain't an arid desert (Wow) We like them girls with functioning vaginas Functioning vaginas Functioning vagina-ginas We like them girls who can eat food, eat food Give 'em some food and they know what to do next We like them girls that don't stab, don't stab Don't stab, don't stab, don't stab We like them girls with functioning vaginas Functioning vaginas Functioning vagina-ginas I need a girl Who can blow her nose and count her toes And doesn't need help puttin' on her clothes Walks on the sidewalk, not in the street Can at least get flip-flops on her feet A girl that can form real words with her mouth And color inside the lines Pass a first grade reading and math test Don't gotta do the best She's potty trained and don't mess on the floor I want her to speak [Whisper:] But less is more Know how to think Know how to blink Hey girl, whatcha sweatin' me for? The type of girl I can take outside My standards ain't that high A girl that can make out shapes And knows that rain comes from the sky (Yeah) We like them girls with functioning vaginas Functioning vaginas Funct