Dear Diary

After Congresswoman Seizmore of the Ethics Committee attacks her character and launches an investigation of her personal activities, Suzanne inadvertently blurts out that she has a diary, which Seizmore has subpoenaed. But Suzanne is unwilling to part with her diary because it has her weight written in it for each day, so she tries to get her best friend who has come for a visit, Anthony Bouvier, to dispose of it for her. Realizing that Suzanne will never grow up, Anthony finally agrees to take a Carnival Cruise and throw the diary overboard, not realizing that Kathie Lee Gifford was shooting a commercial. The diary hits Regis Philbin on the head and he announces Suzanne's weight on national television the next morning on their mutual talk show, Live With Regis and Kathie Lee.