The pilot that was screened to Channel 4 commissioner Cecil Korer in 1981, from which the full series was commissioned
Suffering from the effects of a hangover, the Optimist (Enn Reitel) watches a windsurfing documentary on television and starts to dream that he is part of the exotic scene. In his fantasy, he meets a beautiful Girl (Sharron Davies) as well as a Rival (David Fletcher) for her affections. During his misadventures on the beach, in the nightclub and on the surfing board, the Optimist falls in love with the Girl and faces a surfing challenge by his Rival. The outcome is quite a surprise.
Dressed up for a weekend break, the Optimist (Enn Reitel) arrives at a dude ranch. He meets the beautiful Girl (Carinthia West), a riding instructress, and squares off with a handsome Rival (Martin Kove), who also pursues her affections. Learning to be a cowboy, he tries to spit like the grizzly Veteran (Bill Erwin), gets lost in the desert, is lassoed in the corral, and knocks himself out on the gun range, before fantasising he's Clint Eastwood in a shootout with the Rival.
As an odd-job man, the Optimist (Enn Reitel) is a tennis pro, a waiter, golfing coach and dog minder - all in one day. Out walking a St Bernard and a Toy Poodle in Beverly Hills, he loses the poodle while coaching a beautiful Lady Golfer (Tracy Scoggins). He also meets a gorgeous Girl (Jennifer Landor), the daughter of his employer (Ferdy Mayne), and she persuades him to play tennis and act as a waiter at a poolside party. Chaos ensues as the Optimist finds himself pursued by both women.
Out jogging, the Optimist (Enn Reitel) realizes he's unfit, but when a doctor enrols him at a health farm, he soon discovers the place is more like a prison run by the scary Matron (Fran Ryan). He's half-starved, tortured in the gym, physically battered in an all-ladies aerobic session, and cut down in a karate class. Despite this, he falls for a Dancer (Terri Robinson) and devises a plan to escape with her help, using a multitude of disguises and the local fire department. Finally, he makes a bid for freedom, jogging into the sunset with the girl of his dreams.
Employed by a Mother (Patrika Darbo) to babysit her 'perfect' son, the Kid (Mathew J Connors), the Optimist (Enn Reitel) finds the spoiled 10-year old is a real problem. Trying to keep the Kid amused, they visit the local circus, where the Optimist immediately falls in love with the circus trapeze artist Girl (Christine Garner) and faces a rival, strongman the Bulk (Dennis Brekner). After fantasising he's part of the high wire act, he also finds himself forced into performing with acrobats, clowns, and a knife thrower, before being fired from a cannon by the cunning Kid.
Roller-skating through Venice Beach, the Optimist (Enn Reitel) runs into a racing driver, the Girl (Dinah May). After helping her fix a bust tire, he follows the Girl to the racing circuit where he becomes a mechanic before deciding to disguise himself as one of the top drivers. Suddenly it's Grand Prix time and the race is on. The prize is not only the cup - the Optimist also hopes to win the girl from his rival, a bad-tempered Cabbie (Robert Davi). He comes in first, but fame is brief. It's a fast getaway before anyone can find out his true identity.
After meeting a beautiful Girl (Jadie Rivas) in Marina del Ray, the Optimist finds himself in competition with a Rival (Richard Booker) for her affections. First in kite flying, then surfing and eventually in a sword fight, which starts on Santa Monica beach and takes them on a Hollywood duel, through a car wash, across Sunset Blvd, on the steps of Hollywood High School, outside Paramount Studios gate, and hanging off the Hollywood sign. Exhausted, both duellists collapse on the beach and watch the Girl walk away hand in hand with the Seconds.
As chief greenfly sprayer to both the Chinese and Indian Embassies, the Optimist (Enn Reitel) is 'persuaded' to smuggle messages into the Russian and American Embassies via roller towels. MI5 then persuades him to become a double agent. In the mayhem of a poisoned cocktail party, he pulls off the job with the help of the bewitching Mata (Annette Lynton) but ends up in a Chinese takeaway, persuaded by a meat cleaver to work again for the Chinese.
After losing money at the racecourse, the Optimist (Enn Reitel) meets Sal (Julia Chambers) the owner of the stables, and manages to get work as a stable boy, where he saves the aptly named horse Nutter from being sent to the knackers yard and lovingly prepares him for the big race. Betting spies are afoot and the stakes are high as the day arrives, with Nutter the favourite. Unfortunately, Nutter loves his saviour so much that during the race he suddenly stops to go over and give him a nuzzle. Now the Optimist is on the run.
Working as a humble cobbler, the Optimist (Enn Reitel) is thrown into an international world of crime and classical ballet when a diamond is stolen - the famous Light Fantastic. Beautiful dancer Olga (Karen Smith) is on the run from incompetent thugs when she hides the stone in a ballet shoe and draws the Optimist into a plot that leads to him being forced on stage to dance a pas-de-deux in Swan Lake with Olga and the Corps de Ballet to great acclaim.
On his arrival at a plush London casino, the Optimist (Enn Reitel) discovers that he has become an instant celebrity. What he doesn't know is that he is actually the identical double of the Boss who owns the club. After loving and losing his double's girl Gloria (Eileen Preston), facing the mysterious Mrs Blue (Jenny Runacre), and winning and losing a million pounds on the tables, the Optimist must work out how to make a run to safety from the thugs Syrup and Fig.
An unexpected inheritance leaves the Optimist with a crumbling and sinister country estate, which includes an equally crumbling and sinister butler named Old Norman (Eric Francis). While the Optimist spends his time trying to learn the ways of the landed gentry, he also needs to avoid the murderous attempts of cousin Rachel (Rosalind Lloyd), who is seriously unhappy she didn't benefit from the will - and is determined to put it right by filling the river with piranhas as the Optimist fishes, a tarantula in his four-poster and poisoning his breakfast boiled egg.
Whitewashing the walls and unintentionally the entire garden of a suburban home, mistaken identity causes the Optimist (Enn Reitel) to be hailed a new impressionist painter. His absurd abstracts sell for thousands and the art world flocks to this new master of the brush for his signature on sausages. When his muse, Mimi (Julie Peasgood), suddenly leaves, he is left in despair and attempts to paint his defining piece of art. Unveiled, the oil painting of three kittens is derided as a disaster. But back on the streets as a labourer, the Optimist unwittingly creates a true masterpiece.