Do you find yourself frequently having dreams about a burned, disfigured man wearing a dirty red-and-green-striped sweater and brown fedora? In these dreams, does said man make pun-based jokes and threaten to kill you? Has your bed recently tried to eat you? If so, you may have unintentionally roused the ire of a certain "Mr. Frederick Krueger." While a horrific death may be in your future, we offer the following option: propose a mutually-agreed-upon sexual romp with Freddy in exchange for your soul. While an orifice or two may be extremely sore the next morning, it may just save your life.