Dave Thomas starts the series with a commercial parody for The Laser-Matic camera. (He is holdng a ridiculously-looking prop.) Moe Green does a politicized ""Essentials of Bookkeeping"" lesson in Sunrise Seester. Promotions follow for Unnecessary Surgeon and Malpractice Lawyer. In the Johnny LaRue Show, Johnny is an overweight exercise guru whose activities include opening and closing the refrigerator. SCTV AM News Today sees Floyd Robertson reading all the big news items, leaving Earl Camembert with unevetful stories. Backstage, Johnny LaRue discovers (A) his exercise show is a flop, and (B) everyone knows about his affair. Gregory Peck moderates a PSA to stop depressing PSAs. The highlight is a Masterpiece Theatre story on Sigmund Freud. In the midst of this piece, Johnny LaRue breaks up the shoot. Sunrise Semester, Johnny LaRue Excercise, PSA: Stop Those Depressing Ads, Masterpiece Theatre, Words to Live By
A lunkheaded security guard (Levy) tries to solve a murder while a new educational program is being taped. Yoga/Captain Combat, PSA:Fat Chance for the Sub Sahara, English for Beginners, Gus Gustofferson:Security Guard, Wara Wara Wara
Harold Ramis warns viewers that this show contains ethnic slurs, and all the jokes are about the gypsies. From ""Gypsy Mythology"" on Sunrise Semester to the Hints for Homemakers (a gypsy recommends holding up an Amish family and stealing their food), this show is indeed a gypsy rogue. Sunrise Semester, The Leutonian Hour, Out-Patient, Hints for Homemakers, Theatre North American, Words to Live By
Sammy Maudlin, Sunrise Semester, The $211,000 Triangle, Cooking with LaRue, Backstage, Masterpiece Theatre, Words to Live By
Sunrise Semester, Witness to Yesterday, PSA:So You're Dead...Now What?, Match Unto My Feet, Words to Live By
Star Trek comes to the steppes of Russia in a very funny parody of Chekhov. Heavenly Bodies, Mr Science, Masterpiece Theatre, The Memoirs of Anton Chekhov
BEAUTY AND THE BEETS Beauty learns to like beets... the hard way. Beauty and the Beets, Firing Squad, Alice, the Wonder Dog, Dialing for Dollars, Changing Partners
Dining with LaRue, The Wacky World of Poverty, Eye on Science, Shock Theatre:Early to Bed
Good-Bye America, Sunrise Semester, Philosophy Street, Total Women, A Fistful of Ugly, Feedback with Moe Green
On SCTV News, Floyd Robertson (Joe Flaherty) and Earl Camembert (Eugene Levy) report earthquakes, deli crises, the arms race, and Earl asks terrorists to surrender; Dr Hammond Greer (Dave Thomas) delivers a speech against scientists; Johnny LaRue (John Candy) cleans out the food at Lin Ye Tang's (Dave Thomas) garden restaurant; Lou Jaffe (Eugene Levy) witnesses Irish group techniques (and a bombing); On the SCTV Movie of the Week, a depressing French film about a live-in couple, Jerry Lewis-impersonating Joe (Joe Flaherty) and his fawning lover, Therese (Andrea Martin). Sunrise Semester, Dining With LaRue, Perspective '77, Therese et Joe
Broads Behind Bars is a classic, with Candy's over the top prison guard Shultzy ("Lock 'em up, keep 'em down, and work 'em over") and Martin's lifer Kitty ("No Dice!"). Trivia: the crew put real liquor in Ramis' bottle for the Mort Finkel sketch. (ref: sctvguide.com) Sunrise Semester, Dining With LaRue, Broads Behind Bars
Farm Report, Welcome Back President Kotter, Alistair Cook's Armenia, The Taxidermist
Moe Green promises Ben-Hur will be shown without commercial interruption, but he sneaks in a plug for deodorant. Other spots that break up the movie include something called ""Top-Secret"" and a crude chewing tobacco spread. But the real surprises come in the slapstick version of Ben-Hur ""by General George S. Patton."" The climax comes when Ben-Hur learns his mother and sister have turned into leopards. After the movie, Moe Green calls a few people to see if they can win more than $20 and a handful of kitchen magnets. Dialing For Dollars: Ben Hur, Parts 1 through 4
SCTV Sports Central: The Hefty Neil Story, PSA: Shoplifting
Exorcising, Leave it to Beaver 25th Anniversary Party, PSA:Rip Masters for Children on Booze, Dr Tongue and his Animal Friends
Winning Chess with Borris Morris, PSA:So You're Dead...Now What?, Good-Bye America, Johnny LaRue
Diving for Dollars, Sunrise Semester, Sci-Fi Theatre: Galaxy 66, Beside the Point, Words to Live By
PSA: Re-criminalize Marijuana, Dante's Inferno, Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Madame Blitzman
Wake Up With Alki Stereopolis, PSA: Do Not Remove Tags, The $129,000 Question, Elvira Mad Again Part II, Words to Live By
Sunrise Semester, It Was That Way With Keith Hampshire, I Cry Each Day I Die, SCTV Boogie
Paul's Workshop With Paul Fistinyourface, The Sammy Maudlin Show, PSA: Shoplifting, Dialing For Dollars: Sandy Moss
Passport to Adventure:Africa, The World of Mystery: Sandwich on the Orient Express, World at War:Baseball, Lowell Thompson Remembers
Muley's Roundhouse, Promo: Library Police, The Three Dummies: Of Mice and Dummies, SCTV AM News Today: Terrorist Picnic, Commercial: Spray-On Socks, SCTV Movie of the Week: The Grapes of Mud Part, Commercial: Mrs Prickley's Jams Jellies and Preserves, Disco Farming
Message from Moe: License Suspended, A.M. Little America with Tom Brokraw, Promo: Dan Money, SCTV AM News Today: Mafia Interview, Commercial: Civil Engineering, Officer Friendly, Promo: The Undersea World of Marcel Cousteau, Promo: Masterpiece Theatre: All the Long-Leggedy Beasties, Dream Interpretation with Dr. Raoul Wilson
Commercial: Tiny Tops, Morning Facial with Princess Carlotta, Promo: Check Please, Promo: The Man Who Would Be King of the Popes, Commercial: Mr. Coffee-Table Book from Venerable Electric, The Uncle Earl Show, Promo: Harry Filth, Insights with Hugh Betcha: Socrates, Commercial: Get Tough self-help book, Commercial: Grumbles Restaurant on Route 41, Enough About Me: Antonio Luciani
Dialing for Dollars: Lust For Paint features a show-length parody of Moulin Rouge, with promos for celebrity tattletales and the Babe Ruth story
As the show starts, the scripts are not finished. In Concert with Lola Heatherton, Promo: Love Craft, Commercial: Water Spray from Pocketpic, SCTV News: Informal chit-chat, Words to Live By with Rev. Ernest Kirsch, The Incredible Bulk, Commercial: Moxwell House Decaffeinated Coffee, Feedback with Moe Green
The Leutonian Liberation Front has threatened Moe Green with his life and his career. Once the dirty deed is done, SCTV's on-air personalities cannot hide their relief.
SCTV is desperate to keep on the air. In their financial plight, the network devises a telethon with Sammy Maudlin, Bobby Bittman, and Johnny LaRue as front men. They don't want viewers' money. All they want is their gold. SCTV needs a ton of gold to keep on the air.
A live telecast of Restless Doctors is left stranded when Ernst Kirsch goes on strike to improve his tortuous working conditions. Everyone is now forced to write their own material. (With the strike on, SCTV is forced to repeat an earlier airing of Master Ralph Roister Doister.) The SCTV News produces a contrast of the volatile Floyd Robertson and a loquacious Earl Camembert. Late at night, Johnny LaRue wings his LaRue By Night, trying to find people to talk to. He finds only Pirini Scleroso.
Johnny LaRue is running for Melonville City Council, despite a lack of political skills. It doesn't help that Earl Camembert is LaRue's campaign manager, which taints the televised debate. With the elections taking up so much of their time, SCTV is left only to advertise the new sitcom One is Enough and The Silly Bastard, a massive miniseries on Benjamin Franklin's son out-of-wedlock.
Guy Caballero gives his statement to the Arabs emerging on the world scene: ""Invest heavily in the SCTV Network."" Then programming begins with the first-ever Farm Film Report, with Big Jim McBob and Billy Saul Hurok discussing movies in which people get ""blowed up good."" Lou Jaffe does a Speaking of Talk interview with Harvey K-Tel in the recording studio shouting voice-overs. The Millionaire has given away just about all his money (his last check bounced). He is desperate to pay back Michael Anthony, until The Millionaire of Mecca appears. Peter O'Tool, Richard Berton, Richard Hariss, Shawn Connery, and Candice Burgen tease the audience with highlights of the new theatrical release How the Middle East Was Won. Farm Film Report, Speaking of Talk, Millionaire, How the Middle East Was Won
It appears there isn't any happiness on television, except on SCTV. Earl Camembert gives a bright side to tragic news stories. Lin Ye Tang must answer to viewers who have complained about the contents of Chinese Fairy Tales. And a Triple Feature Movie has three different settings with identical plots. The Mirthmakers, Chinese Fairy Tale, Happy Endings
Me and You and Yoga and Me, High-Q, Commercial: LaRue Towers, Dr. Thom, Marraige Counsellor, Commercial: Botch and Lamb Soft Contact Lenses, Jacques Cousteau's Undersea World
Edith Prickley has succeeded Moe Green as SCTV Station Manager. (Naturally, she rubs Guy Caballero the wrong way.) Her first day on the job sees the world television premiere of Jaws 23, where Amity residents want to lure a mackerel into town for the Fourth of July. Edith Prickley: Station Manager, Shoot at the Stars, Jaws 23' Sore Loser
Mr. Science: Acid and Electricity, SCTV News: SCTV is Haunted, Fireside Chat: Firewood, 4th Degree, Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Whispers of the Wolf, Words to Live By with Mulciber Arimaspians
Promo: Donahue in the Morning, Sid Dithers Private Eye, Promo: U.F.O. Sharkey, Enough About Me: Maureen Jolly, Promo: Fish Police, Commercial: Biller Hi-Lite, Bad Acting in Hollywood with Tom Boslee: Johnny Dark Always Rings Twice
Only for Women: Divorce, SCTV Movie of the Week: Hats of the West, Promo: Consumer Concern, Commercial: Long Distance, SCTV Sports Special Presentation: Melonville Snooker Championships, Commercial: The Devil's Towering 10-G Upsidedown Inferno, Alfred Hitchcock Presents: Murder Is Bad for Your Health
Promo: Undercover Policewoman, SCTV News: Marijuana, Commercial: Daylea Yogurt, Masterpiece Theatre: The Lincoln-Douglas Debates, Mohicans Galore, Cretin's Island, Commercial: Mike's Mercenaries from Amco the Toy People, SCTV Movie of the Week: Fighting Air Dogs over the Pacific
The Amazing Kretin, The Heys of Our Lives, SCTV News: Cash Prison Concert, Commercial: Phil's Nails, William Castle Presents: Agatha Christie's Death Takes No Holiday,
Cooking with Edith Prickley, Commercial: Tex and Edna Boil's Organ Emporium: Rhythm Ace, romo: Masterpiece Theatre: Burlington Central Library production of Hamlet, Commercial: Mind Games, SCTV News: Earl's Wisdom Tooth, PSA: Stop Smoking, Commercial: Masterpiece Wigs, SCTV Mailbag with Bob Clark, SCTV Rock Concert with Big Jim and Billy Sol
Ricardo and Patoo welcome their guests to the island, including the lead singer and guitarist of Black Plasma who, like most rock stars, want to be comedians; Maria Schuulman, a violinist who wants adventure; and Lee Vanderbill, a bored and clumsy socialite who wants a return of glamour. Maria pays for her fantasy with a Stradivarius, which Patoo makes out with. Ricardo and Patoo observe the rock musicians, transformed into Hope and Crosby, selling braziers in the king's harem. They find the one bad egg, and run off. At Rick's Cafe American, Maria as Elsa enters and talks to Sam. Everyone observes that she is, indeed living on the brink of danger. Elsa and Rick talk about old times. Hope and Crosby have given the Grand Vizier the slip and slip into the cafe, but Hope's been turned into a dog. Lady Vanderbill as Ginger Rogers does a number with Fred Astaire. The cops enter and bust the place. Hope rubs a lamp and Glenda the good witch of the North appears and transports Hope and Crosby back to Kansas. The rock musicians wake up and share their dream with their band, and conclude with a number (a disco version of "I Love Lucy" called "Disco Lucy" by the Wilton Place Street Band) as the credits roll.
Promo: The Butch Grant Show, Commercial: Oil of Oil, Promo: Those Two Zany Ambulance Drivers, Promo: Women Say the Darndest Things, Commercial: Ronco Wiener Skinner, Commercial: Tex and Edna Boil's Organ Emporium: Budgie Smuggling, SCTV News: Earl has problems with the crew, Commercial: Captain O'Shaunnessey Table Top Smoke Alarm, SCTV Disco
Passport to Adventure: Pain-free Home Entertaining, Promo: Tax Advice with Liberace, SCTV News Bulletin: Mayor Shanks' Speech, Fireside Chat: The Weather, Commercial: Tap's No-Name Supermarket, The Doctor Braino Hour, Pipeline,
Promo: The Young Weasels, Fireside Chat: The State of the Economy, Commercial: Simple Touch Whitener, Commercial: Tax and Edna Boil's Organ Emporium: Budgies. Family Crisis, Commercial: Graft Cheese, Commercial: Graft Cheese, SCTV News: Consumer Action Line
Promo: Take the Money and Run, Natalie Wingneck, Commercial: Big Giant Restaurant, Relaxing with Raoul, Commercial: National Council of Antique and Restricted Automatic Weapons, Dining With LaRue: French Restaurant
Commercial: The Two Goofs Grocery Store, PSA: Mental Illness, Insights with Hugh Betcha: Socrates on Good and Evil, Promo: Meet the Pawnbroker, SCTV News: Earl's dinner, Commercial: Polardak ESP 1 Camera, Firing Squad: Latin, SCTV Big Cultural Event: The Flaming Turkey
After Edith Prickley introduces the season, SCTV kicks off its third year with Pirini Scleroso in My Fair Lady (promo only). Then comes the debut of Great White North (aka Kanadian Korner). Earl Camembert gets his tongue twisted during SCTV News. Then it's Lee A. Iacocca Rock Concert, where the host asks the U.S. government to save the show from financial peril.
Guy Caballero introduces Thursday Night Live, comedy for the lowest common denominator (Animal House crassness abound). The second installment of Great White North never has a chance, because Doug McKenzie has his earmuffs on. Harvey K-Tel presents Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? with a cast of fast-talkers. At the end, Walter Cronkite and David Brinkley stray from the point of Point/Counterpoint.
Molly Earle revives her Crazy Crafts series after a 15-year hiatus. Guy Caballero introduces a live production of Death of a Salesman with George Carlin, Deforest Kelly, Ricardo Montalban, and Margaret Hamilton. Playing the ghost of Ben is John Belushi.
Sunrise Semester delivers a lesson in Conversational New Yorkese, with the words ""shower,"" ""super,"" and ""lawyer"" as examples. On 60/20, Earl Camembert tries to analyze TV's impact on society and gets impacted himself. Guy Caballero addresses the need to sustain a good orbit for SCTV's satellite.
Sunrise Semester: Man's Ability to Imitate with Mr Wilcox, PSA: Concerned Children for Truth In Advertising, Rebuttal: National Organization to Reinstate Cigarette Advertising, Teaser: SCTV News, Kanadian Korner 17: Snowshoes for Spatulas, Promo: Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: The Odd Couple, Promo: Sea Talk, SCTV News: Earl Plugs Products, omment with David Brinkley: Viletones, Promo: The Invisible Man, Cooking With Marcello: Lobster Cacciatore
Promo: Shakespeare in the Park, Cheryl Kinsey, Traveling Sexologist, Kanadian Korner 19: Boom Shadows, Stuff that Bug Us, Promo: The Merv Griffin Show: Arafat, Liberace, Ferigno, Message from Guy: Viewer Mail, PSA: Participaction, Promo: Flashing Eyes, Mel's Rock Pile: Speed of Light
Sunrise Semester: Glamour with Veronica Swansong, Message From Prickley: The Sammy Maudlin Show, Kanadian Korner 11: Miracle of Back Bacon, Promo: Stretch Your Arm 110, Ronny Barrett's Sports, Promo: Taxi Driver with Gregory Peck, Commercial: Total Control, Message From Guy: Announcer screws up, The Sammy Maudlin Show: Bob Hope in China
Crazy Crafts: Bingo Drop Cans, Teaser: SCTV News, Kanadian Korner 13: Name that Smoke, Promo: Tom Snyder MD, SCTV News: Earl on roller skates, Grizzly Abrams, Hugh Betcha's Night Gallery, Signoff: The National Anthem
Sunrise Semester: Do It Yourself Advertising with Phil, Promo: Chick Monk Roadie for the Defence, Teaser: SCTV News, Kanadian Korner 24: Star Wars, SCTV News: 4th Anniversary, Commercial: Mr Earl Doll, Commercial: Joni Mitchell's For Dogs Only, Bill Needle's Mailbag, Message from Guy: SCTV Premiere of Star Wars, Commercial: Videotech Complete Home Entertainment System, Dialing for Dollars: The Fly Returns to Beneath the Planet of the Apes
Message from Prickley: Hollywood Extras, Commercial: Ella Fitzgerald for Mamorex Cassette Tape, Bill Needle's Mailbag, Promo: Taxi Driver with Dick Cavett, Kanadian Korner 14: Exercise, Commercial: Howards Bristol Cream, Clip: Empires Are a Girl's Best Friend, Clip: Henry, Promo: Hawaii Five-Ho, Hollywood Salutes Its Extras Part, Quint-Promo: White Man, Black Girl
Got a Minute with Dr Sid Dithers, Kanadian Korner 28: Mystery Guest, Promo: Taxi Driver with Bob Hope, Message From Guy: The New Year, Message From Prickley: The New Year, SCTV New Year's Eve Party 1983, Stand By Telescreen Bumper Time and Weather, Komrade Kangaroo, Promo: Hanging 22:00 Telescreen Bumper, Comrade Allen, Promo: Doublethink Game Show, The Praise Big Brother Show, Message From Prickley: The New Year, Message From Guy: The New Year
Sunrise Semester: Astrology with Angus Crock, Promo: Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Georgy Girl, Kanadian Korner 23: The Best Groups and Doug's Imitations, SCTV News: Pit Bulls, Promo: The Cruisin' Gourmet, Two Way TV, Bill Needle's Mailbag, Promo: Crazy Crafts: Ben Laberriere, Sermonette: Rabbi Karlov
Commercial: Gordon Lightfoot Sings Every Song Ever Written, Cooking with Marcello: Vatican, Kanadian Korner 18: Sports, Crazy Crafts: Bob, Message from Guy: Alpha Channel, Promo: Alpha Channel, Bill Needle's Mailbag, Dialing for Dollars: Partridge Family Goes to Mars
Sunrise Semester: Disasters in the Home with Edith Prickley, Commercial: Nasex Nasal Deodorant, Bill Needle's Mailbag, Kanadian Korner 20: Stuff that Bugs Us, Promo: Freddie De Cordova Show, Cookery Crock, Quincy: Cartoon Coroner
Promo: Starting Out with Bill Needle, Commercial: Eskimo Arts, Message from Prickley: The Mating Game, Teaser: SCTV News, Kanadian Korner 22: Parking at Donut Places, Promo: Taxi Driver with Sid Dithers, SCTV News: Walter Cronkite, The Mating Game
Sunrise Semester: Societal Behavior with Norman Gorman, Commercial: Henry Moore for American Express, SCTV Special News Report: Chez Mona, Teaser: SCTV News, Kanadian Korner 29: Kicked out of studio, SCTV News: W.A.S.A.S.L., Comment with David Brinkley: Quality Smoke, Gene Shalit's America, Dialing for Dollars: Space Week
Sunrise Semester: Greek Travel with Alki Stereopolis, Message from Prickley: Mel's Rock Pile, Promo: Jackie Stewart's Wide World of High Voices, Exercise Is Easy with Lucky Ibsen, Kanadian Korner 30: Stolen Car, Mel's Rock Pile: Richard Harris
Message from Prickley: The Cisco Kid, Commercial: Marlon Perkins' Wildlife Dinner Restaurant, Promo: Neil Jung, Psychiatrist, Promo: The Love Boat, Kanadian Korner 33: Doug Builds a Studio, The Cisco Kid Part
Interviews with Harold Ramis, Bernard Sahlins, Joe Flaherty, Eugene Levy, and others about the history of The Second City and the start of SCTV.
From deep within the archives of Canadian Broadcasting Corporation comes this 1982 look at how Hoser-mania swept Canada. Taken from the CBC news magazine "The Journal", this is the first time this story has been seen in its entirety in over 20 years.
For over 20 years the historic "Old Firehall" was the home of Toronto's famous Second City Theatre. Second City/SCTV Executive Producer Andrew Alexander gives a personal behind-the-scenes tour explaining how it became an incubator for SCTV and Gilda's Club.
A Showtime special on the 15th anniversary of The Second City Theatre in Toronto. Several SCTV alumni appear, including Robin Duke, Joe Flaherty, John Hemphill, Don Lake, Eugene Levy, Andrea Martin, Catherine O'Hara, Martin Short and Dave Thomas.
In this special, Flaherty and Martin returned as Caballero and Prickley. The two present a look back at SCTV (using flashbacks) as they try to convince the FCC to renew their license.
Promo: Lola Heatherton In Concert, Donna: Barbara Streisberg, Promo: U.F.O. Sharkey, What's My Shoesize?, Commercial: Phil's Nails, Bob Hope Desert Classic
Rerun package: all sketch material was seen earlier in the season. Speaking of Talk with Lou Jaffe, Commercial: Long Distance, Family Crisis Game Show, Commercial: Tex and Edna Boil's Organ Emporium: Rhythm Ace, The $Millionaire, SCTV Rock Concert with Big Jim and Billy Sol,
Rerun package: all sketch material was seen earlier in the season. Message from Guy: Satellite Model, Sunrise Semester: Do It Yourself Advertising with Phil, Promo: The Merv Griffin Show: Arafat, Liberace, Ferigno, Kanadian Korner 24: Star Wars, Promo: Taxi Driver with Bob Hope, Dick Cavett: Dick Cavett, Promo: Elvis 'n Costello, K-Tel's Fast-Talking Playhouse: Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, Tri-Promo: Black Man, White Boy, Promo: My Fair Lady, Promo: My Life One More Time, Commercial: Ella Fitzgerald for Mamorex Video Tape, Signoff: The National Anthem