If the movies have taught us nothing else—and plainly, they haven't―then they've at least shown us that astronauts and evil supercomputers are similarly cursed with a stunning lack of imagination. Just as Skynet can't seem to come up with a better plan than to repeatedly send a Terminator back in time to eliminate John Connor before he gets fat, starts wearing a checkered shirt and marries Roseanne, so, with all the planets in an infinite Universe to choose from, NASA's best and brightest only seem capable of crash-landing on the Planet of the Apes (which turns out to be Earth all along, by the way). Chuck Heston began this trend in 1968, demonstrating his right to bear arms as effectively as his right to bare chest. So, if you've ever felt the need to rail against unnamed maniacs who blow “it” up, this is your big chance to do it alongside the guy who played Jason Colby. Also Moses.