The Inquisitor

Nemůže být nic horšího než bytost, která se rozhodne, že se stane soudcem všehomíra. A je-li touto bytostí nesmrtelný android, nadaný schopností ničit, zabíjet i tvořit, pak pámbů s námi a zlý pryč. Tedy lépe řečeno pámbů s Červeným trpaslíkem a jeho posádkou. Neboť velký Inkvizitor, odstraňující všechny ty darmožrouty, lenochody a budižkničemu, zkrátka všechny ty, kdož nežili užitečný život a nahrazující je bytostmi, stvořenými ze spermií, jimž nebyla dána šance žít, právě na své vesmírné pouti dorazil až k nim...

Thomas Allman is in his room when a man dressed in black with a white skull-like mask comes along, charges him of being a waste of skin and erases him, replacing him with a more well-built version of himself... The crew are flying along in Starbug when they lose control of the ship. Using Lister's body, something announces itself as The Inquisitor and that they will return to Red Dwarf to face judgement. Kryten later describes the Inquisitor as a self-repairing simulant who survived to the end of time to find no heaven or afterlife. So he built a time machine and went back and forth through time, judging everyone on whether they have lead a worthwhile life, deleting the ones who didn't and replacing them with "the sperms that never got a chance". Back aboard Red Dwarf, the inquisition begins. Rimmer and Cat survive the trial because of their shallowness and low standards, but Lister and Kryten could have made more of their lives and are removed from history. Just as their physical forms are about to be erased, another Kryten appears behind The Inquisitor with one of his own time gauntlets and takes him by surprise. Kryten throws them the gauntlet before getting killed by The Inquisitor. They escape, but when they meet Rimmer and Cat, they don't recognise them. A different Lister and Kryten arrive and convince Rimmer and Cat not to harm them. Suddenly the Inquisitor attacks, killing the new Lister and Kryten. The rest escape, but split up, Kryten and Lister together, Rimmer and Cat together. Kryten finally decodes the gauntlet and frees them from their chains. Rimmer and Cat come in for help against The Inquisitor. They go to face him and Lister finally destroys him with the old "backfiring time-gauntlet trick" which erases The Inqisitor from history. Everything soon returns to normal.