GATTACA

The setting is a bleak future-fifties where there is no robot Fonzie (or even a roomba Potsie) and dress codes require at least a three piece suit for all activites from mowing the lawn to space travel. In this frightening dystopia the one secret to success is in your jeans, er, that should be genes. I must have been thinking of Pornattaca. So any way, this one guy borrows a ladder and apparently forgets to return it, so he has to swim laps with his brother and work at Gattaca, the most prestigious pun-based space-travel organisation the retro-future has to offer, with Quinton McHale. On top of that Mr. Monk makes him wear erector sets on his legs until he can't pee on his own and he has to hire a guy to do it for him. It all leads to this exciting scene where...wait, Pornattaca again. Gattaca just leads up to more swimming. Except that the professional pee man, who's like a cross between Sky Captain and a bicycle, ends up on the wrong end of the George Foreman grill of the future--but that's not as exciting as it sounds. Ok, honestly, we can't really say this one is a turkey. But the pacing is slower than traffic in a Furr's cafeteria parking lot, so we decided to take a shot at it. There is no denying, at any rate, that it's a heck of a lot funnier with a QuipTrack. So download it now!