Look, there’s one of two ways you can respond to our absence over Labor Day weekend: You can get angry, and demand an apology (which we’ll happily give) — but that’s kind of a waste of time, isn’t it? Let’s go with option two, where we run, teary-eyed, into your arms, like prodigal sons returning to their loving fathers. Suggested talking points: The cost of labor, get your poke on, dong gnats, in which we sing Wilson Phillips, gender studies, Travis’ nightmare diet, MILK, the WikiAnswers experiment, Super Donuts: A Counterpoint