Blorg, an alien Kepler-452b still knows very little about our planet, but he's VERY eager to learn. Jones and Fitzpatrick teach Blorg about our ways. In the process, they're going to realize that "our ways" are actually pretty weird when you break them down. Today, Blorg learns about MASTURBATION (aka cuffing the carrot, beating the meat, poaching the egg, flicking the bean, spanking the monkey, making the bald man cry, etc.)