In the premiere episode, Ben sends off quite a lot of money -- $2,999.99 each -- to buy two pot-bellied pigs, theoretically to breed them, although he didn't specify which sexes he wanted. This sudden interest in animal husbandry comes after Katz lectures Ben about finding a job.
The first couple episodes had much more random discussion than did the ones that followed. "Pretzelkins" typifies it. The unifying theme is that Katz feels a bit of a malaise in his life. Julie thinks it's because he deals with unhappy people all day long; Stanley thinks he needs a little "you know." Katz asks Ben to drive Grandpa to the urologist, and "remind him to put his pants back on."
Ben finds that his favorite stuffed animal from his childhood, Bully, has been tossed in the dumpster. Ben immediately blames his father and begins to label all of his possessions; he even labels his labels. Ben starts to fear that his father is going to throw him out of the house like his Bully. Sick of his father playing his folk, blues and "Snoopy Dog Dog" songs, suggests that he should play an open mic night, so that he doesn't play in the house. Ben and Laura go to watch him humiliate himself.
When Katz becomes concerned about his health after a routine check-up, Julie the bartender agrees to help him get in shape. In exchange, he gives her guitar lessons and sings a songs he wrote about her, with one word: "Julie."
Dr. Katz is concerned about Ben's social life (or lack-there-of).
Ben borrows the car for the day; Katz calls him on the cell phone; Ben parks in front of the building and narrowly avoids getting towed when Laura -- in a surprisingly nice move -- cries to the tow truck driver to get him to stop. The car has to go into the shop because Ben had the emergency brake on the whole time: "Everyone has their own definition of 'emergency,'" he explains.
Ben is proud to have been quoted in a newspaper article as a witness to a crime, and he considers himself to be a part of the media now. He considers getting a more exciting first name than Ben, like Zeus; dad suggests Ben "The Over-Reactor" Katz. He finally admits to Katz that he didn't actually see the crime.
Katz's ex-wife announces she's coming for a visit, and Ben tells her she can stay at their place, which Katz does not like the idea of. Ben then brings up the possibility of getting his own apartment, which of course does not happen. ("The sunken living room -- can that be fixed?" he asks one potential landlord.) Stanley, at the bar, tells Katz he's the one who came up with the slogan "Location, location, location"; it used to be "Location, location, location, location," he says. Katz winds up deciding to let his ex-wife stay at the house, even though Ben has now changed his mind on the whole matter, too.
Katz gets glasses, although he doesn't think he needs them. He points out the irony in a store whose job it is to sell you glasses telling you after an examination that you need glasses. He makes Laura help him look at an eye chart which he wrote himself. Julie laughs when she sees him in his glasses, and Stanley is no help either.
Laura takes the day off from work to get her watch fixed. Ben thinks it's because she's not happy at the office; particularly when Katz asks Ben to fill in and then brusquely changes his mind. Katz frets about whether Laura is happy -- "100 percent of my employees are unhappy," he muses. Stanley suggests "Intra-Office Primal Screaming." In an attempt to make things better, Katz makes Laura an "Administrative Assistant": "I won't be able to pay you as much, but there will be additional responsibilities," he tells her. Katz tries to convince Ben (and himself) that there is no problem with Laura, but then throws an office Christmas party -- even though his office consists only of him and Laura.
Ben gets a sore throat, which then spreads to his legs -- his hypochondria is in full bloom. Katz admonishes him to stay away from the medical books: "Last time it took three doctors and $500 to convince you that you didn't have an ovarian cyst." Ben suspects he may have something genetic, and Katz does some "gene" jokes (gene splicing, the shyness gene). He finally settles on SIDS -- Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. Meanwhile, Katz has a fear of bees, which comes to light when one finds its way into the office.
Katz suspects Laura of stealing office supplies but is too weaselly to confront her on it. Stan, at the bar, says it's not even stealing. Katz points out only he and Laura have keys to the office, along with the cleaning service -- ""Finders Keepers."" Meanwhile, Ben begins pursuing -- some would say stalking -- the new girl in the building.
Alerted that something is afoot by Katz wearing a bathrobe, Ben learns that he had a woman over the night before. At first he is incredulous, but then believes it and is offended.
Katz wants to put up shelves and convinces the reluctant Ben to help. Ben goes wild at the hardware store, buying lots of unnecessary stuff, including a nailgun, which he breaks through mis-use and can't return.
Ben is approached by a "woman plying her trade," and it makes him decide to help people in need. He gets pretty obsessed about the whole thing, brags to Laura, calls Katz a failure, insults a long-time family friend, and finally gives up on the idea of helping people -- all in about three days.
Katz is asked to speak at an adult education class on his theory on intelligence. His theory is that a person's intelligence increases immediately after an intense emotional experience. Ben tries to prove this by inflicting pain upon himself, among other things.
Ben and Katz both use "Ultra Henna Bouquet," which makes their hair an odd orange color. Ben just can't bring himself to complain, though, since he got the sample free in the mail and loves getting anything free. They do call the hotline, and Katz tries to complain, only to be stopped by Ben.
Ben thinks Katz is drinking too much ("Take the mask off for one minute"), which of course he is not. As usual, Ben goes way overboard, mentioning a TV program he plans to watch: "The Drinky Guy Who's Drunk All the Time, and His Name is My Dad" ("Drinky the Drunk Guy" is Katz's suggestion for a similar program). Ben calls Laura to check on his dad, and she tells him not to let his own hypochondria extend to his father. He attempts an intervention, guided by a pamphlet called "Why is Daddy Actin'Funny?" but it's a bad time for Katz, who is busy reading "The Foot Bridges of Madison County." So Ben vows to try the intervention at a more convenient time.
After making a few lucky guesses, Ben thinks he has ESP ("Extra-sentencing something") and goes to extremes in trying to test it. He warns Katz not to go to the bar, or else something bad will happen.
Ben decides to go into the celebrity limo business. He moves into Katz's office to do this, which of course annoys Laura.
Julie sets Dr. Katz up on a blind date with her friend Beth, who makes her own clothes. Ben (morbidly) wants to celebrate the anniversary of his parents' divorce. Laura has a hard time staying focused.
Katz decides to keep a bowl of fruit at the office, but it goes rotten pretty fast. He talks about it at the bar, and Stanley pronounces ""fructose"" as ""fruck-tose."" Meanwhile, Ben considers a variety of career options, after being told by his dad that he's ""pissing his life away"". He tries cake decorating and makes a cake made purely of frosting; takes up roller-skating; considers being a truck driver; and asks if there's a job for what he used to do as a kid: put on a pair of dad's pants, pull them way over his head, and stumble around the house.
Ben wants to change his image, and he decides to get an earring, after considering developing a tic, or getting allergies, or dressing like a pirate and calling everyone Captain.
While rummaging around in search of his birth certificate, Ben comes across evidence of Katz's former life: as a hippie folk singer.
Katz gets Ben to play ""Guess Who,"" the old game from Ben's childhood. However, Katz accidentally sees Ben's card via the reflection in the TV, and he uses that information to win, without telling Ben that he had cheated.
Katz got practically no sleep because the air conditioner ""shimmies"" and keeps him awake. He asks Ben to fix it. Then, at work, Katz realizes he's forgotten his day planner and asks Ben to find it.
Katz wants to take up recording again, because he's writing a new song. Ben is opposed to the idea, until Katz tells him he can be the producer.
92-year-old Aunt Estelle (wife of Cousin Morty) dies, and Katz is asked to give the eulogy.
Katz puts his back out while putting on his shoes, and Ben, as usual, is a wealth of help. He eventually becomes Katz's primary care-giver, though, driving him to work, carrying him into the office, and turning him over to Laura, warning her that he's heavily doped up on medication.
Katz thinks Ben is watching too much TV, which he is. But he says TV influences people.
Katz gets a new phone system at the office with all kinds of great features, supposedly. He has Ben call it, but finds that calls are being forwarded to Laura's house.
While in the bathtub, Ben gets a phone call. It's Ann Howard, from high school, and there's a five-year reunion coming up. The only thing is that Ben is afraid to go
Ben wins $500 in the Sir Pay-a-Lot scratch-off lottery and takes Katz and Laura out to dinner. Soon enough, Ben and Laura both get drunk and start to act goofy.
Ben decides to write his memoirs, dedicated to the ""loving memory"" of his father.
Dr. Katz buys an Electric Bike because he always wanted one but never got it as a kid. They find that a $1,000 bicycle isn't all fun and games, when it breaks as Ben drove it down stairs. They soon learnm that some inventions just were never meant to be.
Apparently not having learned from his previous experience with journalism, Ben goes to a broadcasting school audition.
Katz finds a chair sitting outside on the curb and takes it home (""You wouldn't believe the kind of stuff people throw away."" Ben: ""You mean crap?""). However, he realizes his folly and sends Ben to take it to the dump, which proves to be difficult, because the dump is no longer open to the public (""It's all digital now"").
Katz gets a phone call from Sharon Meyers, a woman he dated briefly two years ago, when she was also his patient. She was very attractive, and a dancer (""She was a Rockette. She can kick her own face,"" Ben says).
Katz takes a class in making African ritual masks.
Katz and Ben decide to reorganize their closet space, and they hire a company to do it.
Ben wants to take a bike trip to Nova Scotia, and he and Katz discuss the great outdoors. Several plans are offered, but what they wind up doing is sitting around the house all weekend. Ben gets the whole thing on tape, thanks to Laura's camcorder.
Ben wins first runner-up in a WFEN radio contest to ride in the traffic helicopter. He hopes the real winner can't make it and he gets all psyched up for the possibility.
While watching the news, Ben and Katz learn that a mailbox in their neighborhood was struck by a car driven by a bald Caucasian male in his late 40s. Ben assumes it was his dad, despite dad's protests that while he is in his late 40s, he is ""balding,"" not bald.
Katz wants to do something big for Ben's 25th birthday, but Ben doesn't want any fuss.
Laura starts taking a lot of time off, but won't say why. Ben is curious and so is Katz, and they speculate.
Katz seems to be losing energy and is sleeping later in the morning. He wonders if he's feverish, but in fact, he feels a little cold.
Katz gets a fanny pack to hold his cell phone, beeper, electronic organizer, and various other technological gadgets.
Katz brings up the job issue with Ben, and a series of metaphors ensues.
Katz and Ben try to decide on a movie. Katz wants to see ""Love Strings"" (a chick flick), while Ben wants to see ""Fire Power.
Katz gets a ticket for running a stop sign, despite his efforts to lighten up the cop (""That is a great color for you""). Ben asks, ""Why didn't you play with his mind?"" and suggests they contest the ticket.
Ben becomes enamored of Cindy, a telemarketer from Telepurchase. He mistakes her powerful sales skills for actual affection, and wants to have a private conversation with her, resulting in an angrily whispered argument between him and Katz.
Ben is surprised to get a letter from boyhood friend Lance Garcy. Turns out it's a chain letter, and Ben is quite awed by its power of causing tragedy to strike those who ignore it.
Katz gets a death threat, via Laura, who is unclear on the details; she didn't press for more information because ""I didn't want to make him angry--er.""
Ben's goes to visit his cousin Sarah, in an unnamed city, from whom he once stole money when he was 6 (""It was over a dollar,"" he says as he worries whether she's still upset).
Ben points out, ""When we spend time together over breakfast: boring,"" leading to a discussion of the old games he and Katz used to play when Ben was a kid. Katz asks him to take the London broil out of the freezer, and then goes to work. When he gets home, Ben greets him with a clue -- the first in a series of 54 -- for a game of Treasure Hunt
Ben begins rearranging the furniture in the apartment after picking up a book on Feng Shui, an ancient Chinese philosophy that teaches believers to arrange the objects in their surroundings to achieve inner peace. Dr. Katz is wary of Ben's new obsession with Feng Shui, but Laura finally finds something to talk about with Ben.
Katz is disturbed to learn that the city alderman he voted for is corrupt. He talks about what HE would do if he were alderman: ""I'd like to bring crime back into the streets and out of the home,"" and get rid of the ""criminal element"" (Ben: ""Criminal element? What, are you Batman?""). Ben immediately begins being his dad's campaign manager, despite Katz's insistence that he is NOT running. (Ben's platform: handicap parking for everyone.) He makes signs and harasses Laura, inviting her over to help with the ""campaign"" (he tells her he used air quotes on the word ""campaign"").
Ben wakes Katz up in the middle of the night, claiming to hear a noise. Katz hears it too, and they both think they're being burglarized. After first trying to scare off the burglar (""I'm sure glad they haven't outlawed semi-automatic weapons in the city yet!""), they give up (""Help yourself, take whatever you want, just lock up when you're done""). Turns out the burglar doesn't get in, but Katz and Ben over-react -- oddly, this time it's Katz who over-reacts more. They get new locks and bars on the windows, and Ben wants a hamster. Katz tells Julie and Stan that a home is burglarized every 15 minutes, and that he can't believe he called 911 and was told he had the wrong number. (Stan: ""Did you dial N-I-N-E-one-one?"" Katz: ""OK, you win, you're the stupidest guy in the bar."") Katz suggests a lower peephole, in case the burglar is a midget. Why? Because every horror movie he's seen has an evil midget in it. (Movies mentioned: ""Midget Killers,"" ""I'm Small and You're Dead,"" ""Too Small to Let
As Katz and Ben prepare to go to Katz's niece Rachel's wedding, Katz discovers that since Uncle Morty is dead, he'll have to dance with Rachel -- and he can't waltz.
Katz's wedding anniversary is approaching, so Ben wants to do something for him.
Katz is auditioning for a community theater production of ""Love's Retreat.
Katz's old ping-pong rival David Stanick calls and wants to play again -- for $750. Katz agrees and starts to train and worry.
It's Thanksgiving, and something big happening: Katz's ex-wife Roz is coming for dinner
While picking up a box of donuts one morning, Ben is harassed by an old bully from school, Jimmy Solaray, and by Jimmy's son. They call him a sissy; Ben retorts by saying he's going to join the military.
Ben calls Katz at work with the shocking news that Berman's is closing, the latest casualty in a renovation of Pullman Square -- Ben's old hangout. He wants to do something about it, natch, though he does it in a misguided way.
Ben's wisdom teeth hurt, which he shows his dad (along with a mouthful of cereal). He fears going to Dr. Zelbar because of his violent history with him -- apparently, Ben used to fight him.
Looking through the P.U. class catalog, Katz encourages Ben to take an adult education course.
Ben hears from an old friend named Bruce (at 1 in the morning), who tells him that he and some others will be in town over the long weekend. Ben decides to throw a party, and when Katz threatens to bring his guitar, Ben tells him he's not invited.
Laura tells Katz she'll be participating in a ""Walk for Hunger"" this Saturday, and asks him to sponsor her.
Laura tells Katz she wants to buy a used car, and Katz says he can help her out by asking the dealer the right questions (""How much is this car? How much is that car?"").
Katz goes on three dates with best-selling author and gastrointerologist Alice Webber, and -- surprise -- Ben over-reacts, fearing his dad will get married again (""I don't mention her name in the house,"" he says cattily).
Neighbor Mr. Graham (whose wife either died or left him, depending on who you ask) has asked Ben to take care of his pigeons on the roof for a week.
Katz comes in, having just gone for a walk.Ben points out that for old people, everyday things like walking, chewing and swallowing become hobbies. Katz wants to get a plot at the municipal gardens. Ben finds this odd, until Laura says that lots of old people do it.
Tragedy strikes when the family TV dies (""Maybe you should give it mouth-to-mouth,"" offers Katz). Ben, of course, is most stricken by this event, unable to live even a day without it. He also can't wait for Katz to get home so they can go buy one together; instead, he has a 72-inch TV delivered to the house.
When the paper doesn't get delivered for a few days, Ben observes that Katz is hooked on the news. Katz denies it and bets him that he can go longer without news than Ben can go without talking.
Ben hears about a new system of therapy called ""brief therapy,"" wherein the patient is cured with only 10 questions. Katz is skeptical, of course, citing the example of Jonas Salk, which he then realizes is a bad example, since what he did worked. Laura brings up the Meyers-Briggs test, and Katz refers to them as ""vaudeville.""
Katz's friend Carlton Campbell, host of radio show ""Campbell's Couch,"" has asked Katz to fill in for him one night (""Does he know you well?"" asks the typically supportive Ben
Katz is called to testify as an expert witness in the trial of a boy named Roger who broke into an elderly couple's home, tied them up, then wrote with permanent markers all over their walls. The issue is whether he's mentally competent to stand trial, and it's up to Katz to determine that. Ben wants to know why Katz is doing this, instead of the ""charlatans"" they usually get (""They were busy,"" Katz says), but when he learns that it pays $400 an hour, he encourages this new pursuit of his dad's. Eventually, Katz finds Roger not competent to stand trial.
Ben starts working at Steve's Bakery, his very first job. He has to get up at 4 A.M. to start work, and he gets fired on his 3rd day, for being 4 hours late.
Ben and Dr. Katz meet at Julie's bar for a fun night on the town, but Dr. Katz reveals some startling news: Laura is engaged. Ben insists he's fine with it, but his actions (and words) prove otherwise.
Conan O'Brien steals a couple of Dr. Katz's jokes, and Katz becomes obsessed with the incident. After recounting the events to Ben and Laura, Ben plots to sell some of his own jokes to Conan O'Brien.
