I've been in Miami and Mexico undergoing my metamorphosis from Damon to Damón, so I can fulfill my mission statement of helping gringos like myself pull a fast one on the least expecting people with some beautiful language skills. Next up: SPANISH, my first love. Here are all the shortcuts to overly proper textbook Spanish, and all the strategies for modern, street Spanish. In other words, here's all the Spanish I wish I had learned in Spanish Class. Seriously - just save yourself the time, money, and headaches and enroll now! cue informercial music