1. Cher opens the show with a medley of "Stars" and "Keep the Customer Satisfied", followed by a monologue about Halloween. 2. Dick Smothers appears as a chain-gang prisoner being visited by his wife (Cher). 3. Ted tries finding a father at the Big Daddy Foundation. 4. Ted sings "I'm In Love With Barbara Walters" 5. "Saturday Night" -- Cher tells her dog, Tiger, about her date for the evening. 6. "Life With Laverne" -- Anchor man Ted Baxter from "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" appears on Laverne's doorstep. 7. Cher sings "If You Could Read My Mind" 8. Comedian Steve Martin delivers one of his standup comedy routines. 9. "Man vs. Machine" -- Regular Gailard Sartain appears in a skit showing the problems a person could have trying to get a cup of coffee from a vending machine. 10. The Smothers Brothers approach Cher with their idea for a new TV series, a variety show starring Howard Cosell. 11. Tom, Dick and Ted join Cher in the show's finale, a comic look at big-time crime.