The NEC Vector Engine (VE) isn't a GPU. It's a member of the only family of vector computers still alive today. Imagine a second CPU with a different instruction set running on the same Linux system. While obscure, it's a very approachable and hackable platform that is an addictingly fun machine to program and allows you to play with all the technologies seen in high-performance computing (HPC) today. I am going to cover lightheartedly what a small community learned about this singular hardware they shared: bemoaning a dangerous power plug standard, (ab)using this scientific simulation power house to run code never intended, some firmware and driver reversing, "rooting" a VE and more. I will also be giving an introduction to core concepts in HPC with knowledge transferable to any other (university) computer cluster and hopefully encouraging students and scientists to use those by making them seem less alien and hostile.