Computer network operators depend on optical transmission everywhere as it is what glues together our interconnected world. But most of the industry is running the same kinds of signals down the optical transceivers. As part of my need to "Trust, but verify" I wanted to check my assumptions on how the business end of modern optical modules worked, so join me in a adventure of sending weird signals many kilometres, and maybe set some records for the most wasteful bandwidth utilisation of optical spectrum in 2024!