Greetings puny mortals. It is I, the mightiest of the Old Gods, Cthulhu. I slumber now, lying eternally, until the stars are right, and I return for my ravening delight. Great will be the wailing and powerful the lamentations when . . . Okay, look. Fact is, I can't sleep. It's nothing serious, I'll probably get back to sleep in a few years or so. But I didn't want to just lie there, counting the holes in the ceiling tiles, and watching reruns of "Mister Ed". So, I figured I'd get up and answer some letters. So go ahead. If you've got questions for Cthulhu, hit me. I may just be bored enough to answer.
Cthulhu is back to answer more pathetic human questions, to pass out advice, and to deal with those who annoy him. Do you dare to call in?
Cthulhu rises once more from his eldritch slumber to answer the maddening cacophony that emits from the minds of man.
Cthulhu rises from his captive slumber, and answers your calls! In this episode, Cthulhu deals with cooking and telemarketers.
The greatest of the old ones awakens once more to answer your insignificant queries. In this episode, he deals with Tech support and Ocean Mammals.
Cthulhu rises from his eldritch slumber once again, and answers the ridiculous questions of man. In this episode, Cthulhu digs into his mailbag, and gets a call from another trapped god.
In this episode, Xenu returns to plague Cthulhu, a caller asks for a prize, and some family calls in.
Calls For Cthulhu returns to with a call from the Devil and the Grim Reaper. Due to arbitrary technical limitations, the mighty Old One is delegated to a two-part episode. See the rest in Part 2 of Episode 8.
Calls For Cthulhu returns with a "Cthulhu on Film" video revue, followed by a surprise call from another Lovecraftian name.
Cthulhu gets a call from a lad in Innsmouth, he checks in with Xenu, talks to Anonymous, and has another Rapid Fire Round.
Cthulhu returns for HP Lovecraft's 120th birthday, spoken-word disco, and the BP Oil spill.
In this episode, Cthulhu runs a suicide hotline, he does the weather and traffic, and gets a very painful message from the Grim Reaper.