In 2017, two friends joined forces to create the world's least covert covert operative team. They are the Battle Buddies. America's two favorite heroes, Ryan Haywood and Jeremy Dooley, are deployed on a top secret mission. The objective is simple: eliminate the target by shooting him in his ball. Yes, only one. According to our records, he only has one ball. The other, mysteriously, is in the Albert Hall. And upon further research, we've concluded this is because his mother, the dirty bugger, cut it off when he was small.
The Battle Buddies may have had a ball in Germany, but not everyone was pleased with their testicular bloodlust. Now they're on another mission in hopes of redemption. Inside the Battlegrounds simulation, they must achieve the ranking of "TOP 10" in order to impress their future clients. Will the Battle Buddies prevail, or has their lack of strategy and stealth doomed their future?
After a "successful" mission in the battlegrounds simulation, the Battle Buddies have been sent off yet again to prove their worth. Kryat is a dangerous place, full of all sorts of aggressive animals and army rebels. It's important to take control of the aggressive situations. There are plenty of fortresses to take and plenty of commanders to decimate. Agent Ryan, Agent Jeremy, it's simple. Infiltrate, get information, and kill.
The Battle Buddies have been sent on bomb defusal duty. Jeremy must keep talking so Ryan doesn't explode. It's time again for the Battle Buddies to save the planet (or at least the Diet Coke factory). Ryan has entered the factory, ready to defuse the bombs. Jeremy is on walkie-talkie duty with the bomb defusal manual. The mission is simple: Keep talking and nobody explodes. Good luck.
Like always, The Battle Buddies' newest attempt at stealth doesn't go as planned. This is a loud one. Agent Dooley, Agent Haywood, here is your next mission. You are tasked with stopping the most dreadful of paraphernalia, Funhaus merchandise, from entering our beloved city. Capture the head of Funhaus marketing and get him and yourselves out alive as quietly as possible. Good luck.
Be a beaming Battle Buddies buddy by buying a bodacious Battle Buddies shirt! Battle Buddies - Funhaus has laid siege on the warehouse printing the new Battle Buddies shirt. Get in. Hunt them down. Save our march.
The Battle Buddies must shut down the Hellmouth in Berlin, where an army of Nazi zombies is being manufactured.
Hitler is back, and he wants revenge for his ball! The Nazi Zombie fighting continues in Sniper Elite.
Austin, Texas is being terrorized by a ferocious Big Foot. It's up to the Battle Buddies to save the city and capture the beastly squatch.
Battle Buddies, your task is to go undercover and infiltrate Funhaus' recruitment rooftop party. Use caution and kill swiftly. Good luck.
The Battle Buddies have been sent to Bolivia because the locals are being terrorized by some sort of monster. Their mission is to track it down and kill it.
A demon has been spotted in an infected area outside of Austin. There are also three other mercenary duos trying to take it down. Prove why you're the best.
Battle Buddies. Congratulations on another successful mission. However, you left quite a mess. Your mission is simple: clean up your tracks before exiting. Good Luck.
The Battle Buddies are thrust into Far Cry 5's CoOp and have been asked to test out Boomer, Cheeseburger, and Peaches' new life-ending tools of destruction.
Trapped in Hell, the Battle Buddies are stuck in a nightmare loop of endless death. Their only way out is fighting Bazz'ar and his army of demons. To the friends and loved ones of the Battle Buddies. We are saddened to inform you that they have been killed in the line of duty. Don't worry. They're in a better place.
The Battle Buddies have been hired by an eccentric employer to take out targets that have committed crimes against fashion. They'll use their silenced weapons to put an end to some loud clothing.
The Battle Buddies have been sent on a special mission to the moon to restore oxygen levels for the locals. There is no time to waste.
Battle Buddies, since you've had to quite literally go through hell recently, I've assigned a simpler mission for you today. Stealth is key. Good Luck.
Battle Buddies. You've been hired to bankrupt a mogul who has complete control of a retail block in downtown Austin. Keep it quiet if you can. Good luck.
Battle Buddies, corporate has started to question whether or not you two are intelligent enough to carry out these missions. Complete the simulation and escape the room to pass. Good luck.
The Battle Buddies have been enlisted in the Space Force. A distress signal has been received from a nearby space station. Get there, help them, and escape. Good luck.
The Battle Buddies have been sent back in time to cause a ruckus in Vietnam. Probably. The mission brief was a little hard to understand this week.
The Battle Buddies have yet again been sucked into another dimension. This time, they are being met by the dreadful goombies, which are totally different from zombies. Nothing a few bullets can't fix.
The Battle Buddies continue their adventure through a different reality. Their chance of getting home depends on their success and execution of their mission. Oh boy.
The Battle Buddies have been tossed on an island and tasked to be the winners of a 100-man battle royale. Haven't we done this before?
The Battle Buddies now know who's responsible for their infinite time loop. The only problem is they have to escape his minions.
Battle Buddies - you've shot mein ball and killed me plenty, but now you're in mein world. Welcome to Castle Wolfenstein.
The Battle Buddies are ready to hunt some monstrous animals with an experimental saw launcher in Far Cry New Dawn.